The Olympics are here, and we're all tuned in to fiercely support our country. This means trading Netflix for women's water polo, and cheering our team on with some inevitably amazing snapchat filters. With all of these talented athletes showing off their skills in Rio, it's easy to feel inferior and unaccomplished, but never fear! I have compiled a list of unofficial Olympic sports that I would surely earn a medal in. After all, everyone has talents, right? You can probably relate to them, and if you're daring maybe you would even challenge me for the coveted gold in them!
1. Trashcan basketball
It's no secret that I am not an athlete. My lack of will to get up and throw something away, however can elevate me to LeBron status. Hey maybe I could have been a star with the right motivation. Says the girl who doesn't want to leave her bed to throw away her Snickers wrapper.
2. Extreme shopping
A shopping trip with me is not for the faint of heart. Many great men have tried to keep up with me and have defeatedly retired to the food court for a consolation pretzel. I specialize in carrying an unhealthy amount of shopping bags, spending ungodly amounts of time in Sephora, and buying too many sweaters.
3. Harry Potter trivia
I've read the books, I've seen the movies, I own the tee shirts, and I'm still waiting for my letter to attend Hogwarts. I call is passion; my mom calls it obsession. Either way, I would totally bring home a medal if this was a sport. I would so dominate the Triwizard Tournament
4. Midnight snacking
Midnight was just made for snacking. Who doesn't love Oreos in the moonlight. I've taken this sport to a new extreme by sometimes eating whole meals at night. Waffles, pizza, leftovers from Applebees. I know no limits.
5. Erratic sleeping
What sleep schedule? From sleeping in past noon to staying up until I can see the sunlight, I've got this sport down pat. I also get bonus points for my intense napping skills.
6. Getting ready fast
Due to my commitment to sleeping, I often wake up with very little time to get ready. If college has taught me anything though, it's how to wake up 10 minutes before you have to leave to class. My hair may be a little wet, and my eyeliner may be wonky, but I still can make record time. But if coffee is an illegal substance then I'm totally disqualified.
