The idea of turning 20 this year frightens and excites me. Suddenly, it seems as though life is getting so serious and I have no room to make any mistakes. No longer being a teen and that in itself is a huge transition. Somewhere deep in me, I am beyond excited to be one step closer to actually starting my life.
Personally, I have felt as though being nineteen has been one of the hardest years of my life. There have been a lot of changes that seem to be calling for a huge transition but right now they seem to be like a hovering cloud constantly bringing me down. Entering your 20's is a big deal. These next ten years are crucial in terms of education, career, and relationships. This is a time where everything becomes serious, every single decision has a larger magnitude in terms of consequences and honestly you just do not feel like a kid anymore. Life almost seems 'boring" and the same things are not as exciting as they used to be, but it is more than that. It is a transition into becoming an individual of the real world.
However, there is also this side of me that is awaiting the big 20. It almost seems as though I have exhausted all the "teenage" in me and I am ready to actually be an adult. It is similar to the feeling of graduating high school where yes it is sad it is over, but you almost feel as though it is time for a change and that you could not possibly do another year of high school. You feel more evolved, older, mature and college is the next big step you are ready to take on.
Life is constantly about moving forward. That is essentially how are lives are designed. We have to constantly grow and enter into the next phases of our lives. Whether we are ready or not, we have to learn to deal with it. Time does not wait for anyone. It feels nice to be in one comfortable place in life but it is really about how you handle the hard transitions. Growing up is all about learning to take on one more battle than the day before.
This is why I feel both happy and scared to be becoming 20 within the next few months. I feel ready to take on this new chapter in my life and I feel others who are in the same boat as me should feel the same way. Of course, it is going to take some time to adjust into a new mentality and take on new challenges but it can only go up from here!
Meeting new people, learning new things, becoming the person you want to be, what is more exciting than that? It is the time to create, learn, love and embrace a new age.
There is a beauty in the fear of growing up, but as my father always tells me, "you can never grow older, but only wiser".
