Dear Ex Best Friend,
It seems like yesterday we were these two girls who were always rooming together at our church camps. I'll never forget the year we roomed at that one college in Tennessee and how we took all these pictures with our digital cameras in the dorm. Those were fun times and it feels like it was forever ago when it's only been a few years. I still remember the days I spent with you at the lake, the time I went on that camping trip with your family when you had that mini RV and how excited you were when you first started talking to your now boyfriend.
Back then, I really thought you were going to be my best friend for life. I thought you were going to be the girl standing beside me as my maid-of-honor at my wedding and the one friend I would tell all my secrets to as I went off to college. You and I had fun times during the six years we were close. You were like a sister to me and every time we spent together was fun; I don't ever think there was a dull moment with you. You mad me laugh and feel good about myself, and I counted on you for anything.
But then things changed. They started changing once high school came. Soon after freshman year, you started finding new friends and it was as if I never existed. I really thought that once I changed schools my junior year to the school you were transferring too, we would reconnect and the friendship we once had would be rekindled. I was wrong. You found new friends at that school, too, and I watched us slowly drift apart. Maybe I should've said something and spoken up about how much I missed you, but I thought: what's the point? You seemed better off and happier anyway, especially when you met your boyfriend. I remember the summer you met him and how excited you were about him. Even before you two were "official," I saw how much you really cared for him and how he cared for you. I still remember the times I would feel a little awkward being with you two since I was the third wheel, but seeing you be happy made me happy, especially watching him treat you as well as he did. I'll also never forget the night that you called me and how happy you were that he finally asked you to be his girlfriend, or the time he and I arranged to surprise you for your birthday with him coming home from college.
As time went on, I started to feel as if I was someone that didn't fit in your life anymore. There were no more sleepovers, no more lake days, no more movie nights, even after our beach week after graduation when we reconnected somewhat, it faded quickly. Losing you hurt, especially at that time in my life when I broke up with my boyfriend and I turned extremely bitter. I felt like you left me and viewed me as pointless, someone who wasn't good enough to be in your life anymore. Many nights I would lay awake and think about how much had changed. There was a period in time after our friendship had faded where I couldn't stand to see your social media posts. I felt betrayed and forgotten about. How could the person I called my sister, and the one that I had been close to for six whole years, forget me and not want to spend time with me anymore? What did your new friends have that I didn't have? It hurt so bad to watch you have fun with other people after I was the one who I thought you were having fun with.
But it's all better now. I've accepted the loss and realize that the statement "friends come and go" is true. You came and went. Maybe I wasn't meant to be your friend forever or maybe you weren't meant to be mine. There's a reason for everything, even behind tough losses like losing close friends. It took me a while to not feel so betrayed but I don't feel that way anymore. I've moved on.
Looking back, I can see why I struggled so hard with the loss of our friendship and why it didn't work out. It's because I'm not supposed to be there. I'm not supposed to stay in that town that's twenty minutes away from you. I'm not supposed to stay there and be able to see you whenever I can. I am finally where I'm supposed to be: in Boone. I'm finally happy and not feeling so stuck and lost like I was back home. I can honestly say that as upset as I was, I'm glad I lost you when I did. It would have been too hard to handle losing you once I moved away to college. You taught me how to handle losses and what I want in a best friend, so thank you.
Looking at your life now and how happy you seem, all I can say is, I'm happy for you. I'm happy that you have found someone who treats you so well and loves you. I'm happy that you've found a group of friends you can have fun with and can count on no matter what. And lastly, I'm happy that you're happy. After all that we've been through and losing you, I've realized that being a true friend is wanting the best for your friends. Even though we don't talk at all anymore, I'm always going to care for you and cherish the moments we had. I wish nothing but the best for you and hope you get the best out of your life.
Love, your ex best friend.
