If there is one thing that is most important to remember, it’s that it’s okay to have absolutely no idea what you’re doing or where you’re going. You don’t have to have every little detail planned, and you don’t have to have a rock-solid plan for your future. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the idea that you should have your life figured out by now, that it’s time to start ‘adulting’ and get on with the next phase of growing up; everyday we’re bombarded with messages about preparing for the future, having goals and plans, and how everyone who’s anyone is one-hundred percent certain that they’re on the right track. As early as first grade, kids are being told that they need to start thinking of a plan for their future, specifically where they want to go to college and what for. High schoolers are pressured immensely by those around them to grow up, figure things out, know every fine detail of their lives; college doesn’t get much better in that aspect. But what we forget is that we have very little say in the way life takes us. Events happen that often shake us up, push us away from the path we had paved for ourselves, and suddenly we have no idea what to do anymore because we spent so long obsessing over everything that we forgot to how to live, how to get by. It’s scary, and exhausting, and far too often people crash and burn because they can’t handle not knowing- we’ve been conditioned to fear the unknown or the unsure. But why should we be afraid of it? Who are we to tell anyone how they should live their life, or how they should prepare for the future?

My father shared a bit of wisdom with me quite a while ago, and it’s been stuck in my head ever since. I told him that I felt lost, that I felt that I had to become an adult and figure things out but I didn’t have any idea how; I looked at every adult I knew, and they always seemed so composed, so unshakeable. Everything in their live seemed planned and perfect, and I had no idea how I was supposed to get to that point. My father looked me in the eye and very casually said, “Honey, none of us have any idea what we’re doing either. You never grow out of feeling like you’re walking through life blind. You just get really good at pretending it’s on purpose.” Honestly, he’s right. Ever since that day, I’ve looked at the people in my life who I considered ‘put-together,’ and they all followed that basic rule- they had just learned to roll with the punches of the unknown. So why is it that we are consistently pushed to plot our whole lives on a timeline and expect it to go according to plan?

Life doesn’t come with a map or a set of instructions. It comes with real experiences, real situations, real challenges. Things aren’t going to go according to a plan, and they aren’t going to be easy, but they’re not supposed to. It’s okay to be unsure of where life is taking you. It’s okay to be unsure about what you want your future to look like, who you want in it and what you want to be doing in ten years. It’s okay if you don’t know what you want to be doing now. What’s important is that you don’t compare yourself to others who seem to have it all down, don’t let it make you feel less than adequate. Trust in the knowledge that everyone is wandering through life just as confused as you are. All you can do is what you feel is right in the moment. And just think- eventually, you’re going to be so good at looking like you know what you’re doing that someone is going to start seeing you as the ‘perfect adult.’

Isn’t that wild?