Being selfish is absolutely okay.
Everyone has that one person in their life, whether it be a family member, a friend, a boyfriend or girlfriend, that always makes our day worse. Someone whose problems and life struggles are always worse than ours, someone who controls you are tries to, someone who overreacts, someone who harms your relationships with other people.
Maybe it’s more than one person. Maybe it’s someone you just met, or someone that you have known for your entire life. Regardless, it is completely okay to cut that individual from your life.
No matter your opinion on how or why we are on this earth, we can all agree that we are not alive to make someone else happy at the expense of our own. Selflessness does not mean sacrificing your wellbeing, your mental health, your happiness for someone else’s. We have the right to do what is best for ourselves first, and if that means putting some space in between a relationship or a friendship, that is entirely okay. If we spend our entire lives worrying about keeping “good” relationships with people that put us down, that keep us on a tight leash, we aren’t really living.
Even if this person does their absolute best to create a drama, uses all of their energy for hate, spends time twisting your words, actions and intentions, it is perfectly acceptable for you to cut that person out of your life. You owe nothing to anyone to anyone that hurts you or hurts your friendships with others. You only owe it to yourself to stay surrounded by people who want what is best for you, people who lift you up. People that understand you and never twist your words into something that gives them a drama to talk about, to post about.
The only person in this world that I am entirely responsible for is myself. I am in charge of my happiness only, my wellbeing only. If there is a person in my life that stays in the back of my mind and dictates my words and actions, I owe it to myself to cut that person out. It is very hard to do this, especially since it is programmed in us to think about how it might hurt this person, how they will react and how they will feel. But what concern does this individual show for me when they cry because I have other friends? What concern does this person have for me when they undermine and devalue my personal struggles simply because theirs are “worse?” What concern do they have when they post to social media about me after twisting my words to make them seem like the victim? What concern do they have about presenting a false narrative and silencing my attempts to correct it?
People that act maliciously towards us do not care about our feelings when they tear us down and make us feel less than. Why should we care about their feelings when we simply tell them that we would like some space? Bullies that disguise themselves as friends stick with the people that don’t speak up about being put down, about being controlled. The only way to remove yourself from the situation is to remove them.
So yes, it is okay to be “selfish” and decide to cut toxic people out of our lives. If we spend our years on earth allowing ourselves to be pushed around, made fun of, controlled or belittled by people who claim to be friends, then we sacrifice our own happiness. I don’t know about you, but I would rather cut someone out of my life than spend it trading my wellbeing for their insecurities to be lessened.
