We all go through a rough patch at some point in our life.
By rough patch, I mean a time where everything seems to be falling apart. Whether that be in a friendship, a relationship, school or just everyday life.
It's like the world is still spinning but you feel that it has stopped. Around and around and around it goes, yet you feel like all you're doing is going through day to day motions.
You keep it to yourself because you don't want to "burden" anybody else with your problems. Or maybe it's because you don't know what your problem is. You can't seem to figure out why you feel the way that you feel, and that's the most frustrating part. You just want it all to end.
So, you pretend, as if pretending will make everything that you are feeling less real. You pretend that everything is okay. You pretend that the smile you wear daily is genuine and that you don't cry at night, or in the morning, or on the car ride home. You pretend because you think that is what everybody wants.
But you are wrong.
You pretend to avoid feelings, but that's just the thing: It is OK to feel.
Trust me, I know that it is easier to just pretend that everything is OK and to bottle up your feelings, but we are human and we were not made to be easy. We were made to be complex and to feel things and to work our way through them.
You feel like you aren't yourself anymore, but if you don't allow yourself to figure out who you have become by allowing yourself to feel, then you will never get back to that true state of happiness that you once experienced.
Now I know that me saying all of this won't make it any easier. My words can't fix what you are feeling, or more so what you are trying not to feel, but you can. And allowing yourself to fully feel all of the emotions that you keep trying to avoid will only help you in the end. Stop hurting yourself.
When you are sad, it's OK to feel sad and to ask yourself why you are feeling that way.
When you are angry, it's OK to feel angry and to ask yourself why you are feeling that way.
Be genuine to yourself. Learn yourself and just feel.
Let people known when you're not OK rather than avoiding that you aren't. Feeling can be a beautiful thing and it is what's going to help you from yourself. It is what is going to help you get back to you.
Stop bottling up your emotions and just feel. I promise you'll learn how to rediscover yourself in the process.