We often reflect on our past, sometimes too much and other times too little. But it is important to not live in the past. In life we have one of two options; take the pain you have endured and utilize it as a lesson or revel in the hurt and continue the pattern.
The old you is not a reflection of the current or future you. I think as humans we look at life as if it is linear. We see a timeline of dates and events. I'd venture to say, our lives are not linear. Not even in the slightest.
If I chose to characterize the human experience as something of a shape, I would say our lives are rather cyclical. A series of highs and lows. A never ending cycle of living, learning, and experience.
Think of yourself in terms of math. We have maximum and minimum points. Translated as life's highs and lows. I would say that in my personal experience, the minimum creates the maximum. Without the cyclical motions of life's highs and lows, we simply would not be human.
As a society we only show our highlights. The maximum points of our existence. We display on social media the best of ourselves, but we never display the minimum. Why is that? Why hide the basics of human natures highs and lows? I will tell you why.
It is because we suppress the hell out of our past. Some of us are not willing to handle the demons that live within us. Some of us are scared of acknowledging our low moments, in fear of reliving the past. So in turn then endlessly trying to prove that we "have it together".
Well people, your secret has been exposed. No one has their lives "together" or leads a "picture perfect" life of only highs. It takes many trials and tribulations to lead a human life. Social media, lies. Not to generalize the mass population underneath this opinion. Because some individuals do have courage to share their experiences both beautiful or chaotic. I applaud you for that.
For myself, this is something I am working on. Through my writing for example. It is my tool. A way I can express the depths of my mind and subconscious. But also, it is a way of dealing with myself. By this I mean it is essentially my therapy. A way to work through my insecurity, my past, my demons.
We have to have the courage to do this. We have to willing to be vulnerable. Without vulnerability, hiding behind the mask of the highs, we are leading the unrealistic "linear" life. We need to experience the lows, to then in turn appreciate the high.
It goes back to basic insecurity. We are scared of opening our hearts. But what no one tells you is, while you open your heart you open your mind. You learn more about yourself than you could have ever imagined.
What I have learned about me? I have learned that I am more than my struggle with self-image. From being honest with myself about these struggles, I easily snap out of the low faster now than I have in the past. I have learned to minimize my minimum. And it feels liberating.
I am able to have the difficult conversations with myself. Because I am slaying my demons, instead of running from them. I am being realistic with myself that there is such thing as relapse. I am exposed to the idea that life is not picture perfect and has lows. And I now know that I do not have to be perfect.
I have learned to take the pain of the past and utilize it as my tools to better my present and future. I no longer dwell on it. Life is an abstract beautiful mess. A series of max and mins, security and insecurity, shelter and vulnerability.
Because the truth about leading a truly healthy and happy life is; you have to deal with what goes on inside your head, deal with the pain of your past, in order to truthfully move forward and find your bliss.
The sooner we are real, the sooner we are open and honest about ourselves with ourselves and the world. The quicker we recognize life is messy, not a clean straight line. The sooner we can start living! The sooner we can focus on our present and future. Not the pain and echoes of the past.
