It started with a Halloween party and a costume. One year I just didn’t want to be a witch or a faceless member of the undead anymore. I wanted to be an anime character — only the local Halloween store didn’t have very many sailor scouts or ninja outfits that resembled Naruto characters. So, I tried something simpler. Short brown hair, a little sculpting clay, makeup and a trip to Goodwill was all I needed to become Princess Mononoke.
It was by no means a high-quality costume, but I was proud that with my grandmother’s sewing wisdom we had constructed it ourselves. Two or three people recognized me at the party, but at my high school, I was one of the few people who enjoyed anime. Most of my friends at the time thought it was weird, and as I went through the grades I had received my share of bullying for my passion, but that didn’t make me like it any less. I was just quiet about it until I learned I was not the only one. I was part of something more. I was an anime fan in a whole world full of hundreds of thousands of anime fans.
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The day I made friends who liked anime was one of the greatest days of my life because then I felt like I belonged. Then my friends and I heard of Tekkoshocon, the only local anime convention and a place where hundreds of us anime fans could meet. There we could shamelessly stop being ourselves for a weekend and in our cosplay costumes be the anime characters we admired so much. My friends and I latched on right away and we have been attending annually ever since.
At first, I bought my costumes, I was afraid my meager sewing skills wouldn’t hold up to the test of other fans who had been at this for years, and I had fallen in love with new characters. Slowly I transitioned into making props, accessories and finally this year even my whole costume, with a lot of help from my crafting grandparents of course.
For most of the year, I was quiet and ordinary, I couldn’t talk to many people about the shows I watched as most of the people around me had no interest in anime. I was definitely a ‘nerd’ but I wasn’t ashamed of it anymore. I had friends who told me that was okay, and even a famous author. I wasn’t threatened by being an anime nerd anymore, I embraced it and somewhere along the line became a Nerdfighter, because as John Green says, “Nerds like us are allowed to be unironically enthusiastic about stuff. Nerds are allowed to love stuff like jump-up-and-down-in-the-chair-can’t-control-yourself love it. Hank, when people call people nerds, mostly what they’re saying is ‘you like stuff.’ Which is just not a good insult at all. Like, ‘you are too enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness.'”
That, to me, was like a beacon of hope, because my enthusiasm was understood. It seems like it has always been socially acceptable for sports fans to don the jerseys of their favorite players around football season and run shouting their enthusiasm through the streets at the top of their lungs. Nerds were teased and isolated, but not anymore because, in today’s world, nerds can have that passion too. No matter what show, book, anime, or movie you like, the world has become a world of fans. We all like things, I just like sewing and wearing wigs one weekend a year whereas someone else might like swinging lightsabers, shooting paintballs or chasing a baseball. There might not be another person who likes what you do in your town, or even in your county, but if you can get to the Internet you can find other fans, and if you can get to conventions you can meet them, and for a few days, know that fans are in the majority.
It can be hard to come back from a convention and see that the world still spins the way it did the day you left and maybe there are people around you telling you it's weird to like the things you do, but just remember that is what a fandom is for, we belong in nerdiness together.
So I thank my friends for staying with me in this crazy pursuit of anime, I thank conventions like Tekko for bringing fans together, and if you're out there and feel alone because everyone looks down on you for liking something too much or being too nerdy, I hope all of you know, it's okay to really truly love something and you are not alone.
