When I was 7, I started my first business. I had a mission statement, job applications ready, ID cards for my potential employees, and most of importantly, I was confident. Even though I only had one person apply (my grandmother), I took myself really seriously, I wholeheartedly believed in me. If I were to start a business now, however, I wouldn’t be so quick to do so. As we get older we become more cautious, we consider the results of our actions, but in a way, we also become more cynical. Now prudence is not a bad thing, it’s actually quite helpful, the problem comes when we mistake overthinking for prudence. It’s important to think about the steps we need to take to be successful, but obsessing over success to the point in which it cripples our progress isn’t healthy.
Kids actually have an advantage over adults because they don’t worry about embarrassing themselves or failing; they learn that from adults. They ask questions, they’re honest and they say whatever they feel, but are also open to learning from others. Eventually, they learn how to be aware of others but they also learn how to compete with them, they learn to do the best they can to be the best among their peers. They aspire to receive awards because that’s how they are taught to measure success. And if they’re not the best by the social standard, if they don’t compete hard enough in the eyes of others, if they get no reward to support their efforts then they don’t get that exterior validation that society tells them they need. They think they have failed, so they play it safe.
Awards and accolades are not the issue, comparing ourselves to others and feeling afraid to not reach our goal on the first attempt is the problem. As a society we put a lot more emphasis on rewards rather than determination. We admire the winners when they win, and don’t give a second thought to what it might have taken them to get there. Our society is so focused on success that failure is ridiculed. This mentality is what ails people who mock the person who comes in second place when they themselves haven’t put in the work to even qualify to run the same race.
We fail-shame and make meaningless comparison to hide our own insecurities. The popular sentiment is “I’m not doing that great, but at least I didn’t do what that guy did.” We becomes so afraid of trying that our inner child who is ready to explore and challenge the world is silenced by our “cautious” adult self that is trying so hard to preserve their ego. In the end, it isn’t worth it to think this way and some people may figure this out at some point, but think it’s too late to change.
It never is too late to adopt a better life philosophy. Focus on doing what you like to do and work toward it. Don’t stop pursuing something you love because you think it won’t be good enough and if it doesn’t work out the first time, you always have the option of trying again. Have a youthful spirit, have a ton of goals, and if you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Ignore haters and know that their stagnancy makes them bitter. As long as you’re improving on your own terms and stay motivated, you’ll find that you can still live a wondrous life of child-like curiosity and happiness.
