As the beautiful lazy summer days have floated by, I have found myself more and more tethered to my phone. I could not figure out why until recently. Like many people, I don’t go anywhere without my phone. I tell myself I only do this in case of emergencies, or in case someone important calls or in case I get lost, but that’s not entirely true. I, the true millennial that I am, am addicted to my phone and it stresses me out.

I feel like it’s never ending. I look through everything, answer all my texts, like all the Instagrams, and five minutes later there’s something else for me to look at.

So I bravely decided to go where no true millennial has gone before. I deleted my Snapchat app. The thing is, this should not have been significant enough for me to write an Odyssey article about. That’s what scares me. Snapchat should not have been a big enough part of my life to have had such an impact on my daily routine, but, as I recently found out, it was.

Last week I went on a hike with my dog. When I got to the top, overlooking orchards, fields and the cutest farm you ever did see, I immediately took out my phone to take a Snapchat of it, before I realized I had deleted it. That shouldn’t have happened. Instead of taking in the view through my own eyes, my first instinct was to send a picture to some 200 Snapchat friends to say, “Hey, I’m doing cool outdoorsy things, look at me! Recognize my existence and coolness!” That was not the only time I found myself taking my phone out, seeking attention and validation from people through a stupid app.

In periods of boredom I found myself looking for Snapchat to take selfies, for no reason! What was I doing? Who had I become? Why was I doing this? When I found myself in a funny situation (often) I would unconsciously take my phone out to record it, almost as if to say, “Hey world! Don’t forget about me! I’m funny! Look how funny I am! Ha ha ha ha!” Again, this app should not have been this important to me, so why did I constantly go to it, seeking validation? I had become another social media addict, seeking approval from my peers at all times, whether I was with them or not.

Maybe that’s the problem. The miracle of phones is that they allow you to be with people whom you are not actually with. The curse of phones might be the same thing. I wake up and I am connected. I’m on my break at work and I am connected. I go to bed and I am connected until I fall asleep. I am so used to being with people at every hour of every day, that no matter what, I can’t seem to disconnect myself. Snapchat was the perfect platform for me to always stay connected, so that even when I was by myself, people were still able to see I was there.

I’m not suggesting everyone should delete all social media in the whole world forever. However, deleting even part of social media for me showed me how dependent I was on it, how I had stopped living for me and started living for what I looked like on the screen. So for whatever reason you have, whether you want to live in the moment, to stop caring what other people think, or to stop relying on your phone, I would recommend doing a little social media cleanse. You might not realize how connected you are until you press delete.