“You’re so immature,” they said. “You’ve got a lot of growing up to do,” he exclaimed.

These words get tossed around as though they were feathers, but they bear so much weight and complexity, like a marbled brick, that many people overlook.

First off, what is maturity?

Maturity, to many people, is directly linked to their age. However, maturity is having a complete development. To be considered mature, you have to fully understand something or a situation -- have wisdom. Oftentimes people think that they are mature enough to do a certain thing or have a certain item because that have reached a specific age, such as having their own car at age 16. This is actually entitlement. A lot of times, immaturity comes with entitlement, and vice versa. Nowhere in any book or document, does it say that once you turn 16 you have to have a license and a car. No ma’am and no sir. Living on this Earth for a certain amount of time does not deem you mature; it’s your mind. Your mind has to be the one that does the growing up.

When you are mature, you think differently. Your brain has a clear-cut on/off switch for the time to fool around and for the time to get down to business. It prioritizes what’s most important in the long run -- not the now. It’s knowing when to let petty and sly remarks roll off your back, and when to put down your foot to stand up for yourself. It’s putting your desires aside so that your needs can be met. It’s paying all your bills upfront, and knowing that you don’t need to purchase those new shoes on display at the store.

Secondly, maturity comes with experience. I would say it comes with time, in addition to experience. However, for some people, that’s not necessarily true. Some people, like myself, come from single-parent homes and have to help out around the house or watch after younger siblings, as well as various other things and chores. In this case, these people had to “grow up” a bit faster than expected. Many 12-year-olds want to go play outside or beat their video game level, not make sure their younger siblings are doing their homework and getting a bath each night. In partaking in these parental and caring-type actions, these kids are behaving in a mature fashion.

Experiences are everything we make of them. How you react to a particular circumstance essentially determines your maturity levels. If someone is giving a presentation on research they found on how whales reproduce, and you begin laughing any time the word “vagina” is said, then you’re probably mentally and sexually immature. That word is not funny; it merely describes the internal female reproductive organ.

The experiences and the challenges we encounter mold us and our way of thinking.

Maturity comes with experiences that grow your mindset. If you never mature, you'll never know anything. Life is not stagnant, so why should you be?