On Friday night, Offset posted a video via his Instagram page, practically begging Cardi B to forgive him and spend Christmas together with him as a family.
Now I will admit, these advances did seem like a delicate, little gesture to get her back at first. On one hand, it was nice to see Offset fight for his marriage in a way we've never seen him do before, but on the other hand, it was simply too late. He repeatedly cheated on her even after she had taken him back after the first scandal.
On Saturday, a video circulated of the famous rapper, 21 Savage, standing beside Offset and hyping up a crowd to chant "Cardi, take offset back!" during a live performance. This still may seem like a romantic gesture to some, but I'm here to break it to you.
Constantly begging your ex through a public platform to take you back and getting others involved with the grand scheme is not only an exploitive thing to do but an emotional form of manipulation.
How? Because manipulation starts with not taking accountability and eventually progresses to pushing boundaries. We've already seen before that Offset has a tendency to shift the blame on anyone but himself for his infidelity, saying things like "Y'all won" or "Fuck y'all, I miss Cardi." Now other male celebrities are chiming in, urging her to reconsider the divorce. I wouldn't be surprised if Cardi has thousands of DMs of random people saying the exact same thing.
Just when I thought things couldn't get any more coercive, another video circulated on Sunday morning of Offset bringing out a huge cake set up, completely interrupting Cardi's headlining performance at Rolling Loud. He even gave her flowers that spelled out "Take me back, Cardi". She was visibly upset and even had him removed from the stage. At this point, people can't continue to make excuses for him. Just because they're married doesn't make his emotional abuse acceptable. He treated her like garbage in private and he's now trying to be dramatically nice to her in public so that the world changes their minds about him and pressures her to do what he wants.
These tactics by Offset may have seemed cute at first but now that it's gotten to the point where it's borderline stalking and harassment, and it needs to stop completely.
But let's not forget that this isn't the first example where we've seen this happen.
Remember Robin Thicke's 14-track remorseful album, Paula? Paula Patton, his ex-wife, called it quits after infidelity and domestic abuse on his part, but he still did everything in his power to make sure she would go back to him. He eventually pushed her to the point where she felt the need to file a restraining order against him. We've also seen firsthand what happens when the roles are reversed and how women are looked are demonized no matter the outcome. In 2016 many internet trolls attacked the famous singer, Kehlani, for allegedly cheating on Kyrie Irving. The backlash was so brutal that she went into hiding for months before appearing in the public eye consistently again. Anyone would be lying if they said they didn't see the double standard there.
Now I'm not saying there isn't any room for apologies (even public ones) after you've done something wrong. However, the biggest apology is changed behavior.
We're all human and sometimes we fuck up. Sometimes it's a slight mistake and other times it's more severe. That's human nature. We make mistakes, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't strive to grow from our mistakes and be honest with ourselves about who we are. If you've done something to hurt your partner, either fix it and move forward or be more self-aware and realize that maybe you don't need to be in a relationship as opposed to pushing boundaries for sympathy without taking accountability.
From now on, let's stop putting pressure on women to take back the men who do us dirty rather than chastising the guy who wanted to be community dick while already in a relationship.
