If the past four "Finals Weeks" have taught me anything, it's that laughter truly is the best medicine. So, for your viewing pleasure, I have complied a list of the funniest episodes of The Office. In no particular order: here are my top 10.
1. Stress Relief: Season 5, Episode 13
Summary: Dwight plans an extremely realistic fire-alarm in order to determine whether or not the employees were paying attention during his safety presentation. Hilarity ensues.
Best Quotes
"You will not die! Stanley! Stanley! Barack is President! You are black, Stanley!" - Michael
"No, Rose, they are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs...Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what quality of life do we have there?" - Michael
"My guess, he's either deeply depressed or an icicle has snapped off his roof and impaled his brain. He has a terrible habit of standing directly under them and staring up at them." - Dwight
"An office is for not dying. An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to... An office is a place where dreams come true." - Michael
2. The Injury: Season 2, Episode 12
Summary: Michael injures his foot after stepping on a George Foreman Grill. His "injury" distracts the rest of The Office from noticing Dwight's true injury.
Best Quotes
"I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of crackling bacon. Sue me. And since I don't have a butler, I have to do it myself." - Michael
"I want you to rub butter on my foot...Pam, please? I have Country Crock." - Michael
"I don't want any special treatment, Pam. I just want you to treat me like you would some family member who's undergone some sort of serious physical trauma. I don't think that's too much to ask." - Michael
"When I was a teenager, I was in an iron lung." - Creed
3. Safety Training: Season 3, Episode 23
Summary: Not to be outdone by the warehouse, Michael takes safety training in the office to the next level.
Best Quotes
"Dwight you ignorant slut." - Michael
"Yes. I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years. Which I'm looking forward to. It's an Amish technique. It's like slapping someone with silence." - Dwight
"Dwight says that he actually doesn't know one single fact about bear attacks." - Jim
"Find out whose car that is. If it's Stanley's, call the offices of James P. Albini, see if he handles hate crimes." - Michael
4. Beach Games: Season 3, Episode 22
Summary: Michael plans a day at the beach for the office, but with a secret motive: he needs to find someone to replace him as manager when he inevitably gets a promotion.
Best Quotes
"If you don't like it, Stanley, you can go to the back of the bus...Or the front of the bus or drive the bus." - Michael
"I want today to be a beautiful memory that the staff and I share after I have passed on to New York. And if Toby is a part of it, then it'll suck." - Michael
"About 40 times a year, Michael gets sick but has no symptoms. Dwight is always gravely concerned." - Pam
"I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That's all I've ever wanted." - Kevin
5. Fun Run: Season 4, Episode 1
Summary: Michael hits Meredith with his car and his guilt causes him to organize a 5k for the office.
Best Quotes
"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious" - Michael
"Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it's not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised." - Michael
"Michael Scott's Dunder-Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Fun Run Race For The Cure, this is Pam." - Pam
"Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I dunno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make." - Michael
6. Survivor Man: Season 4, Episode 7
Summary: Michael doesn't get invited on Ryan's wilderness retreat and decides to prove to the rest of he office that he can brave it in the wilderness alone.
Best Quotes
"Look at those wrinkles. Blacks do crack. Not crack the drug." - Michael
"Yeah. Phyllis called me Michael. And I will always and forever be haunted by that fact." - Jim
"It's better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally, than by a stranger on purpose." - Dwight
"I can literally say anything I want. No one is gonna here me. [screams] Wish I could have gone with Ryan on that cool retreat! Jan has plastic boobs! I HAVE HEMORRHOIDS! Doesn't even matter." - Michael
Summary: Toby is leaving for Costa Rica, so Michael throws him an extravagant going-away party (complete with a song). He then falls in love with his replacement HR representative.
Best Quotes
"If the devil were to explode, and evil were gone forever, what sort of party would you have?...Like a beach blowout, or a toga, a toga. Toga!" - Michael
"Well, it's love at first sight. Actually, it was... No, it was when I heard her voice. It was love at first see with my ears." - Michael
"What is wrong with this woman? She's asking about stuff that's nobody's business. What do I do? Really, what do I do here? I should have written it down. Qua-something. Qua... Quar... Qua... Qual... Quar... Quabity. Quabity assuance. No, no, no, no, but I'm getting close." - Creed
8. The Banker: Season 6, Episode 14
Summary: Arguably the best episode of the show, because you get to see some of the show's top moments when a banker from a potential buyer visits the branch to interview Toby.
Best Quotes
"I left a copy of Best American Mystery Stories 1999 in Toby's favorite stall. So, yes, I think I bought us some time." - Michael
"I'm... making some cosmetic tweaks to help create a more appealing environment. Is that dishonest? Well, think of it this way: when you look in the mirror and you see your push-up bra and your fake eyelashes and your make-up and your press-on nails; the principles that I am applying to the office are the same ones that have made Lady Gaga a star... or any number of drag queens." - Michael
"It might seem crazy, but since there's no one left in New York, Michael is Dunder Mifflin's highest ranking employee. So, that's where we are." - Pam
9. Basketball: Season 1, Episode 5
Summary: Michael and others from the office challenge the warehouse guys to a basketball game.
Best Quotes
" God, this is so sad. This is the smallest amount of power I've ever seen go to someone's head." - Jim
"I'm sinking a few, you know. Swish, swish, swish. Nothing but net. And their jaws just dropped to the floor. African-Americans!" - Michael
"Has anyone seen the first-aid kit? [Dwight holds the kit up] How many times have I told you? I'm the safety officer, not you." - Angela
10. Gay Witch Hunt: Season 3, Episode 1
Summary: Toby tells Michael that he can no longer make comments to Oscar about him being gay, because he actually is a homosexual. Michael then calls a conference meeting to deal with this turn of events.
Best Quotes
"Which means at my 10 year high school reunion it will not say "Ryan Howard is a temp." It will say "Ryan Howard is a junior sales associate at a mid-range paper supply firm. ...that'll show 'em." - Ryan"Jim told me you could buy gay-dar online." - Dwight
"I think Angela might be gay. Could Oscar and Angela be having a gay affair? Maybe! Is that what this is about?" - Michael
We're all homos! Homosapiens." - Michael
