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An Ode to New Year's Resolutions

It's that time of year.

Sarina Gersten

Dec 27, 2018

University of Connecticut

c1.staticflickr.com

It's the new year. Here's what goes through everyone's minds when the new year hits.

1) NEW YEAR!! NEW ME!!

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Wooooo!!! The motivation of the new year is in full swing. It is, obviously, the perfect time to COMPLETELY TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE.

2. I have kept my resolution going for a full day!

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I am amazing. Nothing can stop me. I am on freaking fire! I have kept up my resolution to eat healthy for a full 24 hours.

3. It has been a week!

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Oh yeah! I have been knitting every day for a week. Everyone who gives up on their resolutions are weak. I am strong. I have the mind of a champion. I will obviously conquer my goals.

4. I can have a cheat day.

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I have gone to the gym for a full week. I can take a day off. You know, it's not good to exercise for more than a week straight. I could get hurt. This cheat day is really to help myself get stronger...

5. This resolution was a lot harder than I thought.

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Who in their right mind has time to eat healthy and go to the gym every day? Losing 5 pounds be damned.

6. Why did I make this resolution?

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I know that I am incapable of saving $1000 each month. Why would I decide to never spend money on going out or shopping? You only live once, and now I'm boring. What is wrong with me?! Why would I make such a restricting resolution?

7. Since my resolution was dumb, I'm allowed to not completely follow it.

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Well no one can teach themselves to sew a quilt. I never actually wanted to do that. So I'm allowed to take a little break. I don't have to work on my project every day.

8. Actually, on second thought, I think I'm just going to be done with this resolution all together.

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No one roller skates in this day and age anyway. It's not really worth my time. Life gets in the way. I should just spend it watching Netflix and spending time with friends and family.

9. What do I do with all the things I bought to help me with my resolution?

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What do I do with all these cookbooks that I bought to learn how to cook? I no longer have any interest to learn how to cook. I'll just stick them at the bottom of my closet because maybe one day I will want to learn how to cook.

10. Well there's always next year.

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At this point, the end of January is approaching fast. I'll just wait until next year to run a marathon. Marathons are overrated anyway.

New year's resolutions are overrated anyway. Good luck in the new year!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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An Ode to New Year's Resolutions

It's that time of year.

1) NEW YEAR!! NEW ME!!

2. I have kept my resolution going for a full day!

3. It has been a week!

4. I can have a cheat day.

5. This resolution was a lot harder than I thought.

6. Why did I make this resolution?

7. Since my resolution was dumb, I'm allowed to not completely follow it.

8. Actually, on second thought, I think I'm just going to be done with this resolution all together.

9. What do I do with all the things I bought to help me with my resolution?

10. Well there's always next year.

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What happened in the beginning, and how the heavens were set in motion.

But you know you still know every word.

1. "Big Pimpin'" - Jay-Z ft. UGK

2. "Mr. Brightside" - The Killers

3. "Lose Yourself" - Eminem

4. "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) - Toby Keith

5. "Drop It Like It's Hot" - Snoop Dogg ft. Pharrell Williams

6. "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" - Green Day

7. "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" - Panic! At The Disco

8. "Semi-Charmed Life" - Third Eye Blind

9. "Baby Got Back" - Sir Mix A Lot

10. "Get Low" - Lil Jon ft. Ying Yang Twinz

11. "Check Yes Or No" - George Strait

12. "Ride Wit Me" - Nelly

13. "Pony" - Ginuwine

14. "Cleanin' Out My Closet" - Eminem

15. "Gangstas Paradise" - Coolio

16. "It Was A Good Day" - Ice Cube

17. "What's Your Fantasy" - Ludacris

18. "Everybody (Backstreets Back)" - Backstreet Boys

19. "Misery Business" - Paramore

20. "Steal My Sunshine" - Len

21. "Fly" - Sugar Ray

22. "Song 2" - Blur

23. "Buddy Holly" - Weezer

24. "No Rain" - Blind Melon

25. "99 Problems" - Jay-Z

Appreciation for some of life's most discredited pleasures.

1. Sun showers

2. Smiles

3. Tight hugs

4. Discovering new foods you like.

5. Laying in bed after a long day.

6. And being completely relaxed

7. "This reminded me of you"

8. Breakfast foods

9. Over-sized clothes

10. Contagious laughs

11. Car rides with that one person

12. Random (I miss you/ I love you) texts

13. The city at night

14. Surprises

15. Blanket cocoons

16. Good hair days

17. Really good coffee

18. Days where you're in a good mood naturally and for no particular reason

19. Conquering a fear

20. When they give you a lot of guac at Chipotle

21. Being so comfortable with someone that you can literally talk about anything

22. Home-cooked meals

23. Tattoo stories

24. Leaves changing color in fall

25. Butterflies in your stomach

26. Peanut butter & jelly sandwiches

27. When you can't stop laughing

Cool Off with These 8 Beers!

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Leinenkugel Sunset Wheat

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Sam Adams Summer Ale

Hell or High Watermelon

Blue Moon Summer Honey

LandShark Lager

Corona

75 degrees and sunny, plus, no humidity. I mean do I really need to say more?

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