1) NEW YEAR!! NEW ME!! | The Odyssey Online
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An Ode to New Year's Resolutions

It's that time of year.

Sarina Gersten
Dec 27, 2018
University of Connecticut
98
An Ode to New Year's Resolutions
c1.staticflickr.com

It's the new year. Here's what goes through everyone's minds when the new year hits.


1) NEW YEAR!!  NEW ME!!

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Wooooo!!! The motivation of the new year is in full swing. It is, obviously, the perfect time to COMPLETELY TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE.

2. I have kept my resolution going for a full day!

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I am amazing. Nothing can stop me. I am on freaking fire! I have kept up my resolution to eat healthy for a full 24 hours.

3. It has been a week!

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Oh yeah! I have been knitting every day for a week. Everyone who gives up on their resolutions are weak. I am strong. I have the mind of a champion. I will obviously conquer my goals.

4. I can have a cheat day.

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I have gone to the gym for a full week. I can take a day off. You know, it's not good to exercise for more than a week straight. I could get hurt. This cheat day is really to help myself get stronger...

5. This resolution was a lot harder than I thought.

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Who in their right mind has time to eat healthy and go to the gym every day? Losing 5 pounds be damned.

6. Why did I make this resolution?

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I know that I am incapable of saving $1000 each month. Why would I decide to never spend money on going out or shopping? You only live once, and now I'm boring. What is wrong with me?! Why would I make such a restricting resolution?

7. Since my resolution was dumb, I'm allowed to not completely follow it.

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Well no one can teach themselves to sew a quilt. I never actually wanted to do that. So I'm allowed to take a little break. I don't have to work on my project every day.

8. Actually, on second thought, I think I'm just going to be done with this resolution all together.

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No one roller skates in this day and age anyway. It's not really worth my time. Life gets in the way. I should just spend it watching Netflix and spending time with friends and family.

9. What do I do with all the things I bought to help me with my resolution?

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What do I do with all these cookbooks that I bought to learn how to cook? I no longer have any interest to learn how to cook. I'll just stick them at the bottom of my closet because maybe one day I will want to learn how to cook.

10. Well there's always next year.

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At this point, the end of January is approaching fast. I'll just wait until next year to run a marathon. Marathons are overrated anyway.

New year's resolutions are overrated anyway. Good luck in the new year!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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