An Ode To Caffeine Pills | The Odyssey Online
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An Ode To Caffeine Pills

The energy boosting pill that is legal and effective.

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An Ode To Caffeine Pills
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Let me describe a familiar situation in my life:

It's Saturday night, your friends are texting to see what you're doing and if you're coming to the pre-game, but you're exhausted. You happened to go out last night and stayed up late, only to wake up early. As much as you tried to be productive today you got nothing done and now you want to go out again just to get away from the homework vibes.


Only one problem: you're exhausted and can't see yourself making it past 9 pm let alone the time you get to the club. One (legal) solution: caffeine pills! The little white pill hits within half an hour and provides you with enough energy to wake up and actually talk to people. You can buy a hundred for $8 at Vitamin Shoppe and each one is equivalent to two cups of coffee.

After swallowing, you feel a little placebo effect. It's not enough to give you a boost yet, but it's enough to clear away some of the storm clouds lingering above your head. Life is about to get better soon and some good vibes are heading your way. Flash forward to the club, the music is blasting and you're now the only one in your friend group jumping up and down to the beat. Where did all this energy come from? They ask. Two words: caffeine pills. A miracle drug with little repercussions compared to its rivals cocaine and Adderall. It's just like coffee, bro.


Caffeine pills can help you out during the week too. I take them when I have a lot of work to get done and they enable me to sit in one spot without peeing every 20 minutes like too much coffee does to me. When you get comfy that can be a blessing. The pills are a lot more portable than a coffee mug too, which has the potential to spill all over your bag, laptop, or papers. Trust me, no matter how non-spill the brand says their mug is, I will find a way to spill it.


Lastly, coffee has a lot of drawbacks that make caffeine pills favorable. It gives you bad breath, stained teeth, can upset your stomach, and can be expensive. Most of us drink coffee for the boost, not the taste, with the exception of a sugared-up Starbucks Frappe which tastes pretty good. Coffee can be too hot or too cold to drink and some of us want that boost ASAP instead of sipping our coffee like a fine wine. On the other hand, caffeine pills are quick, easy, portable, and skip straight to the good stuff. You don't even have to brush your teeth after taking one!


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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