It might seem strange to write an article (read, "love letter") to ice cream in the middle of the winter, but I think that just proves my dedication. When people ask me my favorite food, my quick answer is usually "ice cream!" I mean, duh. Maybe if I'm pressed to give a "real food" answer, I'll reluctantly give a follow up second choice, but my heart won't be in it. To all the naysayers who refuse to admit ice cream is, in fact, a "real food," let this serve as a reminder that ice cream is more real than you'll ever be. In this article, I intend to prove just how and why exactly this is so.
Firstly, let's talk about ice cream being frozen. This seems like an obvious place to begin. So now, you reach into the freezer, wrap your hands around your frozen treasure, and out comes the pint (or whatever size you choose) that is going to change the next few minutes of your life. The more civilized among us may find both a bowl and a spoon at this point, while those of us who simply can no longer contain our enthusiasm, will just grab a spoon and get right down to business. You know what I'm talking about. Yet, suddenly, both your heart and spoon stop, as you see that the ice cream is still too frozen for you to truly eat. You have no choice but to wait out the critical time period that leaves ice cream at just the right temperature for a nice binge. No matter how much you jam your spoon into the frozen delicacy, it usually won't give until it's ready. So too, ice cream is every one of us at times. Sometimes we need time to warm up, and no matter how much we are nudged or prompted a certain way, we can't or won't give in. Ice cream gets it, ice cream knows we can't always all be besties right away and that's okay.
Another example of ice cream being the most legitimate food out there takes us right into the heart of this delicacy. Though, like I've already discussed, ice cream may start out solidly frozen on the outside, with a smooth and cold exterior, that is quickly forgotten once our spoons hit the luscious caramel core, or we find the thick cookie dough bites nestled within swirls of the ice cream-or maybe I should mention the rippling hot fudge that comes fast and furiously atop cold ice cream. Ice cream comes in all forms and flavors, and with an endless variety of mix-ins, chunks, swirls, ripples, cores, syrups and toppings, it's always keeping us guessing and always proving to us that there's more to the inside than first meets the eye. Ice cream embodies and preaches the lesson of not judging a book by its cover-or, don't judge a scoop of ice cream by its smooth exterior. People have lots of great and surprising qualities, that just like ice cream, might not always be immediately recognizable. But hey, those caramel cores and fudge ripples are usually worth it, right?
The final example is closely related to the second. We know that ice cream comes in all shapes and sizes. You can get a kiddie scoop (bleh) or two large scoops, you can get a cup or a cone, you can have plain chocolate or some sort of crazy colored flavor. To take matters even further, there are usually variations within types of cup and cone, as well. But, at the end of the day, each different ice cream flavor is still a delightful dessert, and each flavor is enjoyed and appreciated by someone. And, no matter how the different ice creams may appear in color or texture or anything else, all ice cream needs that same cold temperature and will start to melt when overheated. Ice cream is here to celebrate our differences-I mean, who doesn't love the variety when it comes to choosing flavors-as well as simultaneously point out how alike we all really are. Some people are tall and some short, some have curly hair and some have straight, but regardless of anything-from flavor to height- everyone and everything starts to melt (or sweat, take it however you would like) when overheated.
The clear moral of the story here is a simple one: ice cream is the best, any way you try and label it. Ice cream knows what's up and keeps it real. Listen, if you want to live with the lie that ice cream isn't a "real food," then that's your problem. But, you should know that you're wrong, and that's that.