Heya, glitter ghost! [This may be strangest opening line I’ve ever written. Take a moment to appreciate that. Hey, do letters even start like this? Is one even allowed to add their “side comments” to the body of a letter? Dunno, don’t care.]
I know I promised to write you a sonnet, a proper one, you know? Shakespearean style, fourteen lines, iambic pentameter and all- however- it hadn’t crossed my mind that my writing skills carry no poetic value whatsoever. I tried, you know, to write you a sonnet. But, I failed- miserably. I planned it to be delivered as a sort of narrative, retelling the story of us. I was actually going to title it that, “The Story of Us”. Yet, it seemed wrong to me. I couldn’t possibly encapsulate the eventful years of our friendship in mere fourteen lines of poetry; but mainly I couldn’t come up with clever enough rhymes to capture the sarcastic essence of our conversations. So, after countless hours of tense rumination, I finally came to admit that I am no Shakespeare- though I still wish I were more like the bard. Imagine having people call me the ‘Bard of Fall River’. That’d be so cool, very weird- but- mostly cool.
Once I decided to just write you a letter- and rid myself of the burden of employing poetic devices in my writing- I noticed that it’s not too difficult to write about you. It’s very easy, actually, as you are so unapologetically astonishing. It’s almost as if I could write about you for hours on end, and you know what? I’d probably still have many more things to say about you after doing so. Things that I can boast about you, that’d make anyone reading this wish they also had you as a friend. Because you see, you’re not just any type of friend. You care about others too much to simply be considered as “just another friend”. Honestly, I don’t think I have ever met anyone as empathetic as you are. It’s almost as if you’re always attempting take the pain of others and make it your own. I know this because there have been numerous times that you’ve proven this to me. That you’ve shown me that if you could rid me of my pains, of my suffering, you’d do it- without any hesitation. It’s not very simple to describe how that feels, to put in words the sort of love you demonstrate to others, the sort of love you’ve shown to me.
You’re always so attuned to the feelings of others, the needs of others- so much that at times you neglect your own. I’d even go as far as saying that your biggest flaw is that of never placing yourself first. It’s alright to be selfish sometimes, you know? You don’t have to put on a smile when you’re unhappy. You don’t have to tell me “it’s okay” when I can clearly see that it’s not. You don’t have to pretend it doesn’t hurt, when it does.
My mother once told me that you’re my guardian angel of sorts. She said some higher power sent you here to keep me safe when she’s not around. I don’t believe in that stuff, “higher power” and whatnot. But, it’s difficult not to think of you as a guardian angel- knowing that you’re always around to make things better when I’m not okay. For that I’d like to thank you, although it may seem unnecessary for me to do so, I’d still like to do it. Thank you, Hira. Thank you for being there. Thank you for telling me it will get better. Thank you for taking on the world so I don’t get hurt. Thank you. And also, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m not always good at expressing how I feel. I’m sorry I don’t always tell you how thankful I am to have you in my life. To have you as one of my best friends.
That’s not all I have to say to you though. Before ending this letter, I want to remind you of a few things that you often forget when caring for others. You know, you are smart, Hira. You are beautiful. You are talented. You are worth more than what some think of you, and you will always be. You will always be all of these things, and more. So much more. Girl, you’re made of space stuff, of the same things that make up galaxies and constellations! You are the universe! Hell, I’d say that’s pretty darn special. So, the next time you try to weigh up your worth based on the comments others have to give you, or based on your reflection in the mirror, I’d like you to take a moment and remind yourself that you are the universe. That ought to make you feel much better.
P.S I might try writing you that sonnet someday. Once I’ve understood how to create poetry, which might never happen…Also, I called this an “Ode” but it’s not exactly a lyric poem…See how poor my understanding of poetry is?
Love,
Mirian.
