Friend: "Why are you walking like that?"
Me: "Oh! I took some small steps there before the staircase so that I could make sure... You know what never mind."
Some people have a hard time empathizing.
Roommate: "Mason it's fine, your deck of cards is ready to go."
Me: "No no, does it look like every card is facing the same direction? That's what I thought."
I count everything in eights. My steps, my breaths, my eye movements. I have a sort of symmetry-based OCD. I don't get too upset when things are messy but when they aren't symmetrical I mentally freak out. Everything I do has to be done with my right side first, but always has to also be done by my left side. If I look to my right or left I have to look the opposite way to balance things out just to feel like I'm OK. All day, every day, I move my jaws, eyes, fingers, and other body parts in subtle patterns that balance out symmetrically.
Most of the things I do don't come up because they are based solely on my own actions, but some things do come up.
Friend: "Was the car radio volume not loud enough?"
Me: "Honestly I don't even want it this loud. But trust me this is the correct volume."
Girlfriend: *while cuddling* "Are you grinding your teeth?"
Me: "No, it's just, shhhh."
Roommate: *turns TV volume to 29*
Me: "Can I see the remote, just real quick. Thanks."
Friend: "High five!"
Me: "Yeah! Now high five with the other hand! WOO!"
Me: *drinks glass of water that is seven swallows*...*adds a splash of water to cup for one more swallow*
I have three roommates. They do not have OCD. Things come up. They don't close the shower door the same way I do. They don't care if everything everywhere in the apartment is aligned in some sort of right angle relative to everything else. They're not that worried about how things in the dishwasher get organized. These are the sort of things I care about, a lot. Do they really matter? No, and I know that. But oh boy do I feel anxiety if things like that aren't done exactly as I'd like them to be done.
Me: *rearranges some dirty plates in the dishwasher after roommate kindly loaded said dishwasher* "Hey they clean better when they face this way." (They don't.)
I cringe when I see someone with shoes on make it more than two feet inside our front door. I color coordinate my closet, and if someone helps me fold laundry I refold it all despite appreciating them helping out. The volume on the TV? I swear if it's not set to a multiple of eight I'll break the TV and the remote and maybe everything in the house. It's not like people do things to spite me; it's that it doesn't really make sense for most things that I think about to even cross their minds.
Oh and the word count on this article? 8 cubed.
