It doesn’t take a Master’s degree in Psychology to know the difference between a good and bad person. If you spend enough time with a person, you’ll soon know if they are knocking on heaven’s door or on a highway to hell. I met this one girl at work who I thought was the kindest person-then WHAM-wait I’ll save that story for another time. I digress.

Good people make you feel welcome and you genuinely want to be around them. Bad people make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells and you try to avoid them. We’re constantly surrounded by a variety of people which helps us identify what category people far into. If I went to your job right now and asked you to write a list of good people and a list of bad, you could write that list instantly because you’re around those people forty hours a week.

Nevertheless, how do we know the difference between the opposite sex when we aren’t around them forty hours a week?

The distinction between a good and bad man is not obvious. The difference, at times, can be subtle, a minute habit or aspect we push aside because we believe we’re “seeing things” or “nitpicking”. Other times the difference is as loud and clear as a slap in the face. As people, we genuinely want to see the good in others and sometimes this leads us to be naïve.

So how can we identify a good and bad guy?

A good man wants you to embrace who you are and grow as a person.

A bad man wants to change you into something you are not.

This one is tricky. When you’re in a relationship there should always be some self-growth. You shouldn’t be the same person you were before you entered into the relationship. Both of you, as individuals, should be learning who you are in the relationship.

Basically, if you were a selfish person before the relationship and you’ve been in the relationship for over a year and still haven't learned to share…you’re not growing as a person. A bad guy will want to change who you are entirely so you fit into the girl he wants.

A good man wants you to have fun, with or without him.

A bad man wants your complete attention.

A good man, like a bad man, wants your attention but he also wants you to be happy. Guys that think solely of themselves will ask you to stay home with them and to cancel your plans. Sometimes they don’t come out and say it, one of the biggest ways they try to get you to cancel your plans is by starting a fight right before you leave. This causes you anxiety before you leave the house and makes you feel guilty for leaving.

A good man takes care of you.

You take care of a bad man.

A lot of women believe a man taking care of them means they are paying for their hair and nails to get done. While that is certainly a nice gesture, it misses the mark on this point. A good man will ensure you have a roof over your head, a dependable vehicle and you’re feed.

A great man will do the same and ensure your peace. You see, taking care of someone doesn’t mean making more money than them, it means upholding their needs. There are too many ladies taking care of bad men. The bible says women are to be the helpers and the man is the provider.

A good man will make a home.

A bad man will lay a trap.

A man that is serious about you will move heaven and earth to be with you. Nothing and no one can stand in their way. A man that loves and cherishes you, will make a home with you, meaning marriage not shacking up.

See, anybody can shack up, anybody can play house with someone and claim that they love you. A good man will make it permanent. A bad man will trap you into a commitment by pregnancy or a monetary purchase that requires two signatures over a length of years.

To conclude each of these points can also be used to identify whether or not she is a good or bad girl. I am not an expert on men but I have lived and dated and observed. It is my hope each reader takes these points as advice and not gospel and finds their perfectly suited good man or woman.