I think I can speak for many people when I say that social media is a great way to stay in the loop, post funny pictures of your friends and let the world know how you’re feeling with 140 characters. But depending on how you see and use these platforms, they can either be helpful for harmful.
For me, Instagram is toxic for the sole reason of searching for acceptance and self-worth. I search for the approval through my number of “likes.”
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Sure, numbers can be significant for other reasons, but why does a number below your picture matter? The number of likes matters to me. When my picture gets over 300 likes, I feel liked. I even do a little happy dance. But what have I done for this self-fulfillment? Edited my face until perfection? Posted pictures that show a little more skin than necessary? I’m a girl, I’ve traveled, and I’ve gone to the beach; I have posted pictures of myself in a bikini. Some days, my makeup looks so good, my hair has the perfect curl, and my shirt clings tight; I look good and you best believe I'm going to share it. But the swimsuit pictures and selfies are not all of who I am. There's a reoccurring battle of creating the same persona online as offline. Do your social media platforms reflect who you are as a person and who someone would get to know in real life?
I’m a genuine, thoughtful, Christ-life-seeking girl. A girl who wants to post Bible quotes, pictures of nature through her camera lens, motivational captions, and pictures of her brother because she’s so proud. But when I post things like that, I only get 100 likes and I feel unnoticed. I feel disliked. What I’m posting about, what I genuinely care about, isn’t worthy enough for the amount of likes I get on a selfie. Why do likes have to determine value? I think I can speak for a few when I say that not getting enough likes on a picture you post can make you feel pretty insignificant.
Why is it that everyone focuses on a number? I have over 1,000 followers, but not over 1,000 friends. I have 300 likes on my pictures, but I don’t talk to 300 people a day. I want to be liked by people, but not for my body, or narcissistic pictures. I want to be liked for who I am besides that: the Honduras lover, nature and photography fanatic and a helping hand. I want to be the same person online as I am offline.
The other day, I posted a more natural-looking picture of myself. It felt good to not edit a thing and say, “Hey look, these are my freckles, and I like them!” But, I instantaneously got self-conscious when the likes weren’t rolling in as fast as I expected them to. (I even posted the picture at the right time of day. Yes, you know exactly what I’m talking about.) I periodically checked over the course of an hour for improvement. The number was so low compared to my normal pictures. The picture that I once felt so naturally confident in, turned into a picture I worried wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, or worth someone’s double click.
I know every girl can relate to this, and even some guys too, but why? Why did I let myself fall into a trap that I’m already so well aware of? How do I get out of this mindset that our generation has molded us to: seeking attention for acceptance and value.
Maybe I’m crazy and let my experiences of wanting to be good enough affect my social media, and maybe I overthink my posts more than you do, so this might not even apply to you. But maybe you’re like me.
Don’t spend hours staring at your phone trying to decide if you like Ludwig or Valenica better. Don’t classify a picture of being “Instagram worthy” or not. Don’t stress about getting the perfect picture. You know you’re beautiful because God created you perfectly unique with imperfections so wonderful.
David spoke to the Lord in Psalm 139:
"I will praise you;
for I am fearfully and wonderfully made:
marvelous are your works;
and that my soul knows right well."
No one should count on a number of likes for approval. Be strong and be you, online and offline.
Don’t be afraid to post and share what makes you, you. Show your imperfections, who cares, that’s your beautiful self! Care about who you are and not what other people “like” you as or what that number defines you as.
Odds are I’m still going to obsess over my likes, and post a hot pic every once and awhile, so I can’t be a hypocrite and say I don’t care about my likes. But I will not let them define me. It’s never easy to stop caring; just try and care a little less. Our cultural norms in this generation will continue to focus on the number of likes we get, and this blog can’t change our whole generation, but it could change you and how you want to define your self worth. Post something you’re passionate about, want to share, or something that you once didn’t think was worthy enough for an Instagram post. Care about your likes when they’re for the right reasons and just be yourself.
If you only get one "aha" moment from this, please let it be this:
Change the way you see your self worth, because it’s most definitely not definable by a number. You’ll always have one like from God, and that should be enough.
