I remember sitting down at my desk on the first day of Algebra One in middle school. Right away I noticed that something was wrong. There were letters in my math equation. As a pre-teen struggling through basic math, I would constantly ask why the letters wouldn't just go back where they belong: out of my math equation. Years later, I find myself asking a very similar question. Why are numbers controlling my life? You may be very confused as to what I mean, so I am going to break down exactly how numbers control my life, and how they might be controlling yours.
The Scale
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Every morning you find yourself hopping onto a scale to find out a number, that quite honestly, you don't want to know. And every morning, if that number didn't drop or stay where you wanted it to, you'd find yourself fixated on it and carrying that feeling with you throughout the day. Three little numbers that have the power to decide if you have that muffin with breakfast, or if you run that extra lap during work outs, or if you wear that new outfit you bought.
Why?
Measurements
Going clothes shopping is also a struggle. You feel guilty if you don't fit in the size that you thought you were, even if the last time you bought clothes from that store was seven years ago. Or you might feel guilty if the person next to you happens to fit in the size you want to be.
On the flip side, height also matters. Every time you go into the doctors office and they measure you, no matter what the number of inches are, you find yourself slightly upset by the number marked on your chart.
Why?
Grades
You study hours for your final exams, praying to get the percentages you want. To your dismay, the percentage on your Chem or Econ exam is not ideal, and you beat yourself up about it. Why? Because this number will affect your over all class percentage, which in turn will affect your GPA. And if your GPA isn't high enough you won't get into med school, law school, or land that internship. I mean, maybe the world might end. Whatever dramatic conclusion you come to, these numbers have the power to seriously cause some mental stress.
Why?
As an Athlete
If you're an athlete like me, your stats are very important to you. Whether it's how many baskets you scored or how many times you got on base, you're always thinking about it, or at least checking up on it after the game. Most of the time you find yourself not even focusing on the outcome, but strictly on your own individual stats. If the outcome wasn't what you or your team wanted, you look at those numbers even more negatively to the point that you blame yourself.
Why?
Social Media
Before you pick out what picture to post, you consider which one will garner the most likes. And if that number of likes isn't satisfactory, you begin to analyze anything that could be wrong about the post. Sometimes, you may even delete it. You compare how many followers, subscribers, or friends you have to others.
Why?
Time
You count down the days, minutes, and seconds until you get what you want. Then, when it comes, you can't even enjoy it because you're already counting down to the next thing you want.
Why?
Why? Why do we let numbers control so much of our daily lives? If you want the cookie, eat the damn cookie. Sometimes you just need something sweet, no matter how many calories it is. You deserve the cookie. Don't worry about the size on the back of the pants. What matters is your individual style and how you feel in them. If you think they look good, it doesn't matter what the number on the back is, because the size 0 pants is the exact same pair of pants as the size 12. Rock the pants and own them. So what if you didn't get exactly what you wanted to on that exam. Yes, you're going to be upset about it, but in reality the sun's still going to rise in the morning and life is going to go on. Use that exam as motivation for the next one. For the athletes out there, those stats can really deflate your mood and confidence. But the truth is, we tend to be a lot harder on ourselves than we should be. One bad game or meet does not make us a bad athlete. As far as social media is concerned, who cares! Share whatever post you want, and share it for no one else but yourself. Because in reality, how many of those "friends" actually matter to you. Also, whether it's 10 likes or 10,000, no amount can change the memory that picture projects. And no amount should change how you feel about it.
Unfortunately, just like letters in math, numbers are constantly going to be showing up in our daily lives. The only way to stop them from controlling you is to look at them in a new way. Numbers can only be worth as much as we interpret them to be. Chances are, you're doing a lot better than they predict, and you're worth so much more than how you may be currently perceiving them.
