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A Numbered List of Thoughts About the Election

So generic your computer could've written it; maybe your computer did.

Ariana Whalen

Nov 06, 2016

University of Southern Maine

A Numbered List of Thoughts About the Election

StareCat.com

In just a few short days, I could be running away from the country of my birth, sort of like Cary Grant sprinting away from this plane...

And it has left me with a few important questions.

1) Can I have a cry party if Trump wins? Does anyone want to join me? I can't provide alcohol because I'll need all my pennies to leave before January 1st, 2017, but I have an apartment and candles.

2) Will I ugly cry with relief if Clinton wins?

3) Where will I go if Trump wins?

4) Did this election cycle give me mad anxiety about the ownership of my body? (Answer: Solid fucking yes)

5) Is my depression seasonal or is it electional? Is electional a term?

6) Why am I panicking? Maybe because this guy got more media attention than any real issues did...

7) When will everyone realize that America has been consistently bettering itself? We do not want America to be as it once was! America used to burn people it thought were witches, enslave an entire race, and elected presidents that destroyed the lives of Indigenous people. America isn't great yet, but it could be. America definitely wasn't great. Stop insinuating that going back in time would make America better. It would not. Please shut up. Or as Snape would have it...

8) I just want this whole damn thing to be over with already. I feel like everyday has been a never ending marathon of a reality tv show. And I hate reality tv. I gorram hate it. Give me sci-fi or comedies any day.

9) Hopefully, there is a next time I post and it will be about meaningful things and not about this freaking election. If not, well, my sincerest of apologies for being lamer than a llama and...

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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A Numbered List of Thoughts About the Election

So generic your computer could've written it; maybe your computer did.

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Here are just a few of those things.

Take the time to thank that one friend in your life you will never let go of.

1. Thank you for being the one I can always count on to be honest.

2. Thank you for accepting me for who I am.

3. Thank you for teaching me what real love feels like.

4. Thank you for always making sure I'm safe.

5. Thank you for going through things with me.

6. Thank you for teaching me to take care of myself.

7. Thank you for going out of your way to make me feel supported.

8. Thank you for always being there to back me up, even when you know I'm wrong.

9. Thank you for constantly pushing me to live up to my potential.

10. Lastly, thank you for making such a huge impact on my life.

It sucks, but you’ll make it through

1. Please just be seasonal allergies

2. I must not have gotten enough sleep last night

3. I’ll just take a little nap

4. Oh no, I have so much due tomorrow!

5. I’m fine, I’ll just sleep it off

6. Do I have to be responsible today?

7. Ugh no, I can’t actually be sick

8. Alright, I’ll take some medicine and I’ll be fine

9. This is the worst day of my life

10. Mom?

11. She was right (like always)

12. Too bad you're busy and can’t take the day off tomorrow

13. You think about taking the day off, but realize you have like three tests

14. You think you're actually going to be sick forever

15. Finally, you're better!

Sleepovers are not a thing. They're just not.

1. You only ask things once.

2. Seriously, you only ask once.

3. When you do muster up the courage to ask your parents for something, you creep around and wait until they’re in a good mood.

4. Before you get that final yes, you have to go through an interview.

5. If you ever got “the eye,” you knew you were screwed.

6. You were always the first to leave your group of friends when hanging out.

7. If you say you will be home at a certain time, you better be home at that time.

8. Seeing a missed call from your parents sends fear and horror through your veins.

9. If relatives are coming over to the house, your room better be clean.

10. You are careful about what jokes you share with your parents.

11. "You’re not an adult until you turn 18! You can do whatever you want then!"

12. If plans change while you’re out, you better text or call.

13. Don’t talk back. Ever.

14. When you’re called by your full name, you’re in deep trouble.

15. Don’t make them call your name twice.

16. Sleepovers are not a thing.

17. Despite all of these things, you know your parents love you.

For better or for worse

1. Pets

2. Mornings

3. Mistakes

4. Cooking for yourself

5. Hosting

6. Taking care of yourself

7. Holidays

8. Roommates

9. Keeping focused and getting stuff done

10. Cleaning

11. Social life

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