My middle school choir director used to say something to me every single time I would make negative comments about myself, others, or the situation I was currently in.
“If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all.” - Thumper (Bambi).
Most of us have probably heard this saying in some way or another, probably too many times actually. If not, you probably still learned to speak kindly to others.
So what happened? Too often we say kind words in person, but the minute we are sitting behind a screen, insults and degradation come rolling out.
Why on earth do we say the things we do while we are online? Is it because you can't physically attack the person? Do we think that because something rude has been said or done to us, that it’s okay to be rude back? It's a lot easier when you cannot see how your words will affect someone directly. You cannot see their tears fall, or the anger in their eyes. You think, “oh I'm being honest for their own good”, or maybe “I don't know them so it doesn't matter.”
SURPRISE!!!
It matters.
This isn't just about one on one insults. It's about the racism, the sexism, the homophobia, all of it. Why can't black lives matter and you back the blue lives too? One life is not more important than then next. There is no denying that change must be made. Things need to be different. Hatred has become the new norm and it needs to stop. You can't heal a broken country if the fighting never stops. Socrates said “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” There is no changing the past, but there is an infinite ability to learn from it.
Yes, there is the freedom to say whatever you so desire on the internet, or in person, but when did opening our mouths become more important that opening our hearts and minds? No, we won't all agree. That's 100% guaranteed to happen and that's OK. What is not okay is dismissing or degrading another person or their opinion. They are just as entitled to their opinion as you are to yours.
At this point you're probably thinking, “well they don't have to read what I type,” and while you're not wrong, you know they will. Your selfishness is not justification for your actions. And if the feelings of others aren't enough to convince you to be a decent human online, keep in mind that your family, current and future employer, friends and so many more can see this. You can try and hide from reality but it's all out there, for anyone and everyone to see.
Everything on the internet right now is political in nature, and there is always someone arguing with someone else about how wrong they are. So you don’t agree. Both of you are trying to bring about a more united country, and yet you’re sitting behind a screen arguing about it. How about you get out, take a bit of action that might actually do something, and discuss the issue in a non-hostile way? Why don’t you try to compromise? Not on your individual values, but maybe try to realize that any form of arguing is doing this nation no good.
My favorite daytime talk show host, Ellen DeGeneres, once said “I think we need more love in the world. We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to that.” She said she wants to be a part of that. It's not just a want, it's a need. She can't fix the world all by herself. YOU are the one who can bring more laughter and kindness into this world.
Not every problem will be fixed. Not everyone can be happy about every little thing. But we can be happy with the bigger picture. We can choose to be kind. We choose love over hate, any and every life over death at all. For once, think about the person on the receiving end of your comments. Think about the stranger who will be insulted because you degraded them. Imagine if it was you. It's cheesy yes, but if this world would turn around and THINK before they speak and act, it would be a much different, maybe even better, place.
