There have been many events, people, and moments that have helped shape my life and have gotten me to the the point that I am at today. I figured since this is my first time writing for many others to read, I would share those things with you all so that you may get to know me and where I am coming from in my future articles. These are notes to my younger self.
Dear 10-year-old self, there is someone that is about to enter your life that is going to love you more than anyone in the world. This person is going to adore you and at times, try to act like you because they think that you are the coolest person in the world. At first, well... for some time you may not realize this. You may be annoyed in how they are acting when they are around you but they are only doing what they do because they want to be like you. When that happens, you are going to realize, you will need to present a better image to this person because the person you are presenting to them is not who you want them to be. There is going to be a moment, it will be subtle, but you will know what I am talking about when it happens, that will change your relationship with this person forever. You are going to listen more than before. You are going to care more than before. Most importantly, you are going to love this person more than before and that still will not be enough to make up for how much you have missed out on, but it is a step in the right direction.
Dear 17-year-old-self, this year you are going to lose someone close to you. Someone that from the moment you were born, that even though you were not related by blood, you were still his grandson no matter what. Though more important, you were his little buddy. It's going to hurt and watching your family react to the news will hurt even more. Losing someone like grandpa is one of the most difficult things that you will have to deal with. My advice to you, please cherish those days you have with him. When you visit him just talk to him, until he falls asleep. Hold his hand and comfort him and give him your full attention. When you begin to notice on your final visits that he is indeed not getting any better, that each day is a struggle, just know that while he is struggling, he is thinking about you every day. On those final visits, when it is hard to see him and you need to leave the room and cry because you can't take knowing that something bad is around the corner, go out and cry, but you make sure you get back in that room and spend time with your buddy because that is all he wants. When the time has come and the news has been received, take your time. Do not make any brash decisions and remember. Remember all the amazing times you had with him. Remember when he would take you to go "drive" in the high school parking lot. Remember when you would go stargazing in the park. Remember how he would call you his "little buddy". If anything, remember that he loved you, wanted the best for you and was so proud of everything that you did. Remember that no matter where you go he is always there watching over his little buddy. So go out and make him proud.
Dear 19-year-old self, you are going to embark on the most difficult 8 weeks of your young adult life. Your dad may joke that going through Air Force Basic Military Training may be a joke when it compares to those of other branches, but still, you have never experienced something like this before. Your instructors are there to help you. Through all the yelling you have to try and see the that they are tearing you down but are building you right back up so that you are better prepared for what you are about to endure. You are going to become brothers with forty other people. All of you from vastly different backgrounds, but all having the same goal, to graduate and become Airmen. Make sure you go to chapel every Sunday as that is going to be the only hour and a half of peace that you will have during your time at BMT. Do not do what I did and sleep under your mattress while pretending to make your bed, you'll just get chewed out by your instructor later on after another trainee snitches you and your bunk-mate out for doing so. In the end, you're going to graduate and go on to your technical training where you will learn how to excel at your job tat you signed up for. While at tech school you are going to meet some of the best people you will ever meet. Your next door neighbor will eventually turn out to be one of your best friends, and your five other classmates that you studied and worked in the 100 degree plus weather with for months will be just as important in your life as well. In the end, you will have graduated and classmates and friends from school will have all gone their separate ways and you will be allowed to go home for fourteen days before leaving for your permanent duty station in Valdosta, Georgia. I cannot stress to you how important it is that you cherish every moment that you spend with the family. You are going to be living totally on your own for the first time, states away from a family that you have never been separated from for a lengthy period. It is going to be hard at times. There are going to be days when you have no clue what you are doing, but you have friends that are there by your side that will help you whenever you need them. Please keep in touch with those friends, as they are still ones that you keep in touch with today. They are some of the coolest, funniest people that you will ever meet and they are the reason that you made it out okay.
Dear 21 year-old-self, I just want to wish you congratulations on being accepted to The University of North Texas. It has been a long time coming but you finally made it to college. From joining the Air Force, to working a crappy part time job for a year, to now, a full-time college student. A bit of a heads up, it is as hard as your friends will tell you it is. There are going to be days when you feel like you have so much work to do and so little time to do it. Use your resources wisely by going to office hours. Set aside time in each day to focus solely on your school work and then other times to relax and not worry about school. You do not want to look like some of the kids in the library that looked like they haven't slept for 36 hours. You also need to go out and make friends. You do not want to go through college alone. This is not a time to be a loner because it would be incredibly difficult to carry this burden all on your own. There are going to be some people at school that say or do things that upset you because it's college and it is a time where people like to express themselves more freely than they do anywhere else. Do not be tempted to correct any of these people if you feel that they are saying or doing something wrong, because hey, who knows, maybe you just need to listen to their perspective and you might see things a different way. Most importantly, try to have as much fun doing this whole thing called college that you possibly can. You are working toward getting your degree that will allow you to help better other people's lives, so stay motivated as well. You can't take a day off because once you do, you will be tempted to take another day, then another and so on. Don't do it, because everybody that is in your life and everything that you have been through has led to this moment. So take it and run with it as far as you can and never look back.
