I heard about self-harming for the first time in middle school. My brother and parents were talking about an Emo girl in my school. My brother explained that Emo stood for emotional and that she would cut her wrists for attention. I never thought that I would start self harming within the next few years.

Nonsuicidal self-injury, often simply called self-injury, is the act of deliberately harming the surface of your own body, such as cutting or burning yourself. It's typically not meant as a suicide attempt. Rather, this type of self-injury is an unhealthy way to cope with emotional pain, intense anger and frustration. This mental disorder has become more and more common among people, one in five females will self-harm during their lifetime, and one in seven males will self harm. Even after recovery, there are things that I have to deal with because of my many years of self-harming. There are some things I think everyone should know.

Yes, I have scars.

They are all over my arm, and all over my hips. I will always have them. Please do not point them out. This was my mental disorder, and I am dealing with it on my terms, and it is personal. When I feel like talking to you about my mental disorder, then I will do so, but until then just leave it alone. Staring at the scars isn't helpful either, I can tell that you're staring. You aren't as subtle as you think.

No, this is not for attention.

Would you tell a drug addict or an alcoholic that they were doing it for attention? No. That would be extremely rude. Honestly, I try to make this something that I hide. I'm not proud of it, and unlike other disorders, this isn't something that I can hide easily. Every time I go swimming or wear a t-shirt, everyone can see the leftovers of my disease. I literally wear them on my sleeve. I don't want people to bring attention to it, and I am already ashamed enough as it is.

I don't need to feel ashamed.

I am really proud of where I am now in my life. I worked incredibly hard to get to this point. This is something that I should be proud of, and I am proud. You should know that how hard it is to make a recovery and that it takes years of really really hard work to get there.

Recovery is hard.

Self-Harming is a lot like being an alcoholic. I have bad days, and good ones. Sometimes all I want to do is self-harm, and it takes a lot of strength not to. This doesn’t mean that I have fallen back into it, and this doesn’t make me weak. This just means that I am human. It also means that I might need help.

Please do not joke about it.

When I see self-harm portrayed on television, I get really upset. It is either a cruel joke or it is glorified. I see things like a group of people making fun of someone for self-harming. The person who is doing it on T.V. is really sad or pathetic. This is a disorder. A real disease, and should be treated as such. The people who self-harm are not pathetic or doing it for attention, they need help.

There is something that you can do.

There are thousands of websites and blogs that are dedicated to glorifying self-harm, anorexia, depression, e.t.c. These websites make these diseases look lovely. Make sure that you block them, take them down, make complaints, or they will continue to perpetuate these mental disorders

You can also help someone by trying to understand them and why they are self-harming. The people who self-harm are just regular people, regular people who are struggling with something real. The people around them should validate their feelings and not run away from them. Loving a self-harmer is better than shunning them.