Growing up I was raised to be polite, respectful, and the perfect young woman. I was always told to say "please" and "thank you", never disrespect someone of authority, always be polite to your guest, and never make a scene. Although those are all proper things every young child should be taught, these were not the only things I was taught.
From as far back as I can remember, I was taught how to grow up and be successful. In order to do so, you are to go to college, get married to a white man with money, and to work my ass off until the day I retire. I could be wrong, but I do not believe any of those things are necessary nor are they mandatory in order to live a successful, happy life.
Since I disagree with what my mom has taught me and all the things she believes in, I am here to write a short letter to her.
Dear Mom,
You taught me how to be the proper young lady, and for that I thank you. I appreciate the time you spent teaching me how to walk, how to ride a bike, how to multiply, drive, and now put me through college. However, I cannot and will not thank you for the "Christian" views you have attempted to instill in me.
In a world filled with so much hate, disrespect, and wrong doings; how can you allow yourself to add fuel to the fire? Hating someone for the color of their skin, the religion they practice, their sexual or gender identification, and most of all just for being happier than you is absolutely absurd.
Although you taught me all these things over the past 18 years, I never once listened. To me, a human is a human. Whether they choose to be what they are or not has nothing to do with you, nor should it affect you. So to take offense to someone else's happiness is wrong.
I do not plan to ever judge someone based on their looks, personality, or past situations. I love people for who they are, right here, right now, in this moment. Whether their skin is black, white, brown, or red; their hair is blonde, brown, green, or purple; they plan to marry a man or a woman; they don't plan to go to college; or they practice Islam, Christianity, Hinduism, or Buddhism, I respect them. A person is a person and in order for me to receive the respect in which I deserve as a human being, I must learn to respect others. Remember, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Luke 6:31.
I don't plan to grow up and live the lifestyle of the "normal" white woman, I want to grow up and live my dream and be happy. For me, that's marrying a man, or a woman, who makes me happy. For me, being happy is changing my major, because I've realized the medical field was for you, not for me. For me, giving back to the community is allowing my voice to be heard and standing up for what I believe in, no matter what you or anyone else thinks. For me, being my own person is more important than what others think.
So, yes, I thank you for being a mom. Specifically, my mom. Although I may not say it enought, I do love you and appreciate you. But I do not, and will not, pretend to respect your views on the world or your idea of what my future should look like.
Sincerely yours,
The daughter you claim you did not raise