The other day in class, we were practicing taking a patient's weight in groups of two. One person would be the patient getting weighed and the other would be the Nurse Aide taking the measurement. I started to sweat bullets. I hadn't weighed myself in over 8 years. I always avoided them at home and would look elsewhere at the doctor's office.
8 whole years. That is how long since I can remember being weighed last. I remember hating getting those doctors that would look at the number and call me "overweight for my age."
I went to the doctors for a flu shot. I probably have a better diet than you do and I work out 5 times a week.
So in class, I finally heard the number after 8 years. When I heard it, I felt scared, worried but somewhat relieved. Hearing the number made it real.
In the middle of school, it is sometimes hard to find time to workout but lately, I have made room in my day to take care of myself. Whether its embarrassing yoga workouts in my room or trying to survive on the stair climber, I keep trying.
I never grew up on soda or sugary snacks so my diet has always been better than an average college student, but dining hall food is not good for the soul or body. But when I heard the number, I knew I was going to be okay.
I feared scales for so long because I felt like as soon as I knew what the number was on the scale that I would become obsessed with it and beat myself up over the idea of not losing 5 pounds a week. However, I feel like it has given me a new perspective.
It gave me a perspective that as long as I am eating the way I should and taking time out of the day to work up a sweat and tend to myself that I am on the way to a long, healthy life.
I do not have to be 110 pounds to be healthy. I don't have to stay on the keto diet for life to be healthy.
I want to make decisions about my health that will last a lifetime. Decisions that not always concern eating or working out. I want to try new things like aromatherapy to help stress levels. I want to teach my brain new things and grow in other ways too.
With all of this being said, if you're scared of looking at the scale, don't be. I was avoiding something in my life that shouldn't have been avoided so long. I lucked out on a part of my life I could have been taking care of myself through.
The number on the scale doesn't determine your worth, but it will help remind yourself that your body and your mind needs to be taken care of too.
We are amazing creatures, capable of change and growth that goes beyond the number on the scale. Remember this, and remember that it is important to spend time with yourself. Make an appointment every day to grow in some way. I promise that the journey will be worth it.
