I Do Not Want To Have Children, And It Does Not Make Me Selfish. | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

I Do Not Want To Have Children, And It Does Not Make Me Selfish.

No children does not mean no fulfillment.

34
I Do Not Want To Have Children, And It Does Not Make Me Selfish.
Belle Coviello

When I was younger and played that game "house" or "family" with my friends I thought about how one day in the (far, far) future I would have my own family. I would have children, a husband, pets, and live happily ever after. I always thought I would want 2 boys and 2 girls, because of course things always work out like that, right? And my husband would love me and my children and everything would be perfect! But of course, when you're 6 years old you don't recognize that's not how things always work out. Often people are infertile, have miscarriages, are not financially secure enough for children, or their husbands do not love them as much as they imagined.

Or you realize that you may not want children after all. Even though when I was a little girl and thought about how I'm going to want children and a family of my own, as I got older I realized this may not be my dream. A family doesn't have to be a husband and kids, a family is whoever you feel at home with, it could even be your best friends, or your dogs for all I know. In my future I do plan to get married, but I do not plan on having children.

Why? Well, my mother raised us as a single mom, or more so nannies raised my me and my sister. My mother had to work and keep our home in a stable financial situation, so even though it was not her fault, she was not always around. When I'm older I plan to be a doctor (an epidemiologist specifically), which is not a job that you can just go to and come back, or have short hours when you please. If I were to raise children, I'd want to be around for all the early years of their lives, I'd want them to have their mother around. But, I want to work. I want to go and make enough money that I feel comfortable and am able to afford the things I or my husband needs. I do not want to feel stressed out because I have children at home that I am not attending to. Also, as an epidemiologist, you often travel to underdeveloped nations where disease rates are very high. I do not want to either have to expose my children to that, or have them miss their mother when she's gone for two weeks. When I look at my future I see myself working in a lab and helping to cure diseases. This isn't a future that involves raising kids for me. I have thought that perhaps if one day I am in a situation where I want a child and feel stable enough, I will adopt an older child from an underdeveloped nation, since they are often thrown to the side and not thought of. But this is the only circumstance I can think of now.

My mother often tells me that without having children I will not be "fulfilled" in life. I honestly could not think of a more incorrect point. My siblings plan on having children, so I'd get the chance to be the "cool aunt" and I could buy them things and host big family parties. My aunt has no children and I often think of her as a second mother to me, which is what I feel like I would be treated as, which to me is more than enough fulfillment. I think it is wrong to judge women for not wanting to have children, many people think that it is selfish and it's a woman's "duty" to continue to have children. But, I believe that if someone does not want to have a child, there is a reason for it. Do not judge someone elses choices, especially for their future. Don't tell them they will "change their mind" or it's "just because they're young," because even though some women may change their mind, many will not.

It is okay that I don't want to have kids, it does not make me a selfish person. And I will be able to live a fulfilled life, despite having no kids.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

A Few Thoughts Every College Freshman Has

The transition into adulthood is never easy

13261
Mays Island
Courtney Jones

Today I started my third week of college at Minnesota State Moorhead. I have survived welcome week, finding my classes on the first day, and being an awkward loner in the dining hall. Even though I have yet to be here for a month, I have already experienced many thoughts and problems that only a new college student can relate to.

Keep Reading...Show less
college

"Make sure to get involved when you're in college!"

We've all heard some variation of this phrase, whether it came from parents, other family members, friends, RAs, or college-related articles. And, like many clichés, it's true for the most part. Getting involved during your college years can help you make friends, build your resume, and feel connected to your campus. However, these commitments can get stressful if you're dealing with personal issues, need to work, or aren't sure how to balance classes and everything else going on during the semester.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

9 Reasons Why Friends Are Essential In College

College without friends is like peanut butter without jelly.

5816
Bridgaline Liberati and friends
Bridgaline Liberati

In college, one of the essential things to have is friends. Yes, textbooks, a laptop, and other school supplies are important but friends are essential. Friends are that support system everybody needs. The more friends you have the better the support system you have. But you also have someone to share experiences with. And don’t settle for just one or two friends because 8 out of 10 times they are busy and you are studying all alone. Or they have other friend groups that do not include you. Don’t settle for just one or two friends; make as many friends as you can. After the first couple of weeks of college, most friend groups are set and you may be without friends.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Power of Dressing Up

Why it pays to leave the hoodie at home.

4317
sneakers and heels
Sister | Brother Style - Word Press

For a moment your world is spinning. The phone alarm has just scared you awake and you’re flooded by daunting thoughts of the day ahead. You have three assignments due and little time to work on them because of your job. You’re running late because you’ve hit snooze one to many times after yesterday’s long hours. You dizzily reach for a hoodie, craving its comfort, and rush for a speedy exit, praying you will have time to pick up coffee. Does this sound familiar?

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

11 Signs You Live At The Library As Told by 'Parks And Recreation'

A few signs that you may live in the library whether you'd like to admit it or not.

3809
brown wooden book shelves with books

Finals week is upon us. It is a magical time of year during which college students everywhere flock to the library in attempt to learn a semester's worth of knowledge in only a week. For some students, it's their first time in the library all semester, maybe ever. Others have slaved away many nights under the fluorescent lights, and are slightly annoyed to find their study space being invaded by amateurs. While these newbies wander aimlessly around the first floor, hopelessly trying to find a table, the OGs of the library are already on the third floor long tables deep into their studies. Here is a few signs that you may live in the library, whether you'd like to admit it or not.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments