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Health and Wellness

It's Okay Not To Be Okay

As a society we seem to insist that people be happy all the time, and that is simply impossible.

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It's Okay Not To Be Okay
Ryan McGuire

So I've written in the past about the merits of failure and how it's okay to fail, and this follows in that vein. Society places a huge premium on being happy, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. What is detrimental, however, is the insistence on being happy all the time. There have actually been several studies indicating that positive thinking reduces performance and motivation or actually can make negative thoughts worse. This is in addition to research indicating that, in some circumstances, even emotions like anger can be helpful.

This is the time of year, especially in academia, that can get people down. Finals are looming, projects are due and the pressure is on. It's only normal for people to not feel great, especially when you factor in cold and/or rainy weather. Sometimes, things just aren't good, and it's important to recognize that. Looking on the bright side is generally pretty solid, but sometimes you have to admit a circumstance is bad in order to confront it in a healthy way.

Nervous about a test? Despite what your friends might say, "you'll do fine" isn't helpful. What is helpful? Sitting down and actually studying for it. Too much worry can be a problem, sure, but the opposite is also true. It's entirely normal and even expected to be nervous about big tests. Anxiety which serves to push you to do things that you need to do is healthy. Anxiety that prevents you from working isn't. However, placating anxiety with positive thinking is equally detrimental. Why? Because it keeps you from working as hard as you need to!

The name of the game here is adaptive, as opposed to maladaptive. Translation: Emotions and thoughts that help you (adaptive) should be used while those that keep you from doing what you need to (maladaptive) should be changed.

Fatigue can tell you that you need to take time to recharge. Pushing through it is just going to reduce the quality of your health and work.

Frustration can tell you that you need to change your approach. Change your methods or switch projects then come back to it. A new perspective will help move past the frustration. Bashing your head against a proverbial wall is a great way to hurt yourself.

Apathy tells you a few things, including that you might not be doing something that suits you (if you're apathetic about classes or work in your major, that is a problem) or maybe that you, as with fatigue, need to recharge. Do things you enjoy to rekindle your passion then try again later.

Ultimately, as great as it is to be happy, there is a lot to be said about not being happy. By all means, try to find the silver lining when you can and remain hopeful for the future, but it's okay to not be happy all the time. Do whatever you have to to take care of your mental health, such as avoiding burnout.

Remember this:

All moods are transient and the ones that linger are the ones we choose to foster.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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