So, I know some people out there enjoy being the "mom" of the group. But that shouldn't be the case when it comes to your relationship. However, your partner acts or some of the things they say should not come back and be put onto you. You should not be the sole caregiver for them either. Here are some experiences I have collected that demonstrate the toxicity of taking care of an S.O.
1. Male, 23
"My most memorable experience came from the first person I dated back in high school. This girl was incapable of doing the most basic tasks for herself and expected me to do it for her, whether I was around or not. The first being getting text messages while I was at my home or a work for me to stop what I was doing to bring her food or something like, 'I'm cold, turn up the thermostat,' in her house because she was lazy and dependent on others to do things for her."
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2. Female, 21
" I used to cook my ex homemade dinners for him and his roommate. And he was so picky that one time I made a family sized dish of creamy chicken Alfredo and I put a single pea on top in the center and he refused to eat the whole thing. Then, he was struggling with his online class and I had to create a reward system for him to do his course work, and punishment if he didn't do his course work, his punishment was not seeing me or no video games."
3. Female, 22
"My boyfriend grew up without a mother, so he has a lot of trust issues and was never taught how to be compassionate or have patience. I feel like I have to tell him not to spend money on stupid things, say things like 'put your phone away we're at dinner' because he was never told that stuff. He's not needy per say, but there are instances where I feel like I have to be his mother. I constantly have to nag him to get off Fortnite to the point where it's messing up our relationship. He doesn't take me seriously when I tell him, which makes me feel like I'm just a nagging mom. They say 'be his girlfriend, not his mother cause he already has one of those' but he doesn't, so it makes me feel like I should fill both of those voids."
4. Male, 24
"When I was in community college I was in school every day from 9 a.m. until 3-4 p.m.. My girlfriend at the time lived 30 minutes away and worked every day at 5 p.m. So after class, I would have to drive to her apartment and wake her up in time for work, before I had to go to work at 6."
5. Male 23
"I love my girlfriend of two years but she can be quite irresponsible and childish. One example that comes to mind was about a year ago when she was spending the night at my apartment. We had been drinking, her a little more than I, and we had gotten into an argument. It wasn't a huge argument but it blew up into a big deal and she was so upset that she stormed out of my apartment. I had to call after her but she was pouting and ignoring me, so I just had to follower her around my apartment complex at 2 a.m. until she was done pouting. This was about an hour later..."
