I am okay, I am okay, I repeat to myself.
Cold air rattles through me and I am a ghost of myself.
Hollow and aimless, a sea of faces swarms past me and I am blind.
Blind to it all. I am not okay but I tell myself I am.
Blinking tears past, I laugh with others, sounding vacant and ever so far away.
My plate is full and I can’t eat, the stench of food rising up like a pile of horse manure.
Clenching my fists I smile and I swallow, it goes down like gravel in my throat.
I am okay, I am okay.
I repeat to myself despite the tears that are falling down my face.
Perhaps I'm not so okay, maybe I need help.