I am okay, I am okay, I repeat to myself.

Cold air rattles through me and I am a ghost of myself.

Hollow and aimless, a sea of faces swarms past me and I am blind.

Blind to it all. I am not okay but I tell myself I am.

Blinking tears past, I laugh with others, sounding vacant and ever so far away.

My plate is full and I can’t eat, the stench of food rising up like a pile of horse manure.

Clenching my fists I smile and I swallow, it goes down like gravel in my throat.

I am okay, I am okay.

I repeat to myself despite the tears that are falling down my face.

Perhaps I'm not so okay, maybe I need help.