I'm supposed to be writing something.
Writing without inspiration is like wanting to sleep while being tired; sure, you can make it happen, but the quality of it can be questionable. You can make an effort, but it will more than likely result in you staring at the wall and becoming frustrated with yourself, ultimately making it harder to accomplish your goal.
It's a brisk morning in October and it's finally starting to feel like fall. The time is 7:30 and I'm sitting in my school cafeteria just waiting for inspiration to hit. The thing about writing at school is that, even an hour before class starts, there are countless distractions. Some are less flashy than others, but, ultimately, I let them get the best of me. I find myself listening in on other conversations more than focusing on my computer screen and the words that need to appear onto it.
There are two large groups of friends, both bustling with a surprising amount of energy considering the time of morning and age group. In the corner, there are two kids eating breakfast, which is what I'm also supposed to be doing, but, for some reason, I'm not hungry. To my right, there's someone on their phone, and I presume that they're waiting for some friends. And then there's me, alone at a high table just trying to take my surroundings in.
I used to think that people that arrived at school any earlier than they had to be were completely out of their minds. Being late was something that I had become accustomed to; a typical morning for me in previous years involved me speed walking to my first block class and trying to come up with an excuse for my tardiness. This year, when I'm constantly burdened with other forms of stress, the last thing I need on top of it all is the stress of being late or rushing to get somewhere.
Regardless of whether or not I have any meetings to attend, I'm at school by 7:30 a.m. with my coffee and some homework that I was too tired to do the night before. If I have a meeting, that usually leaves me with 30 minutes to study, do homework and get my mind in the right place. 7:30 a.m. is the calm before the storm; by 8:00, the cafeteria is filled with groups battling for dominant conversation.
When I've managed to complete all of my homework the night before and don't have a meeting before school, then I have an hour of writing time. The problem with this is that my productivity isn't consistent. Some mornings, I can crank out two rough drafts, but others I can barely get a paragraph. Those mornings, my mind is fogging and I'm usually worried about the day's events. It's mornings like those that make it increasingly easy to be tempted to write a crappy article just to meet the deadlines. I have done that in the past, and it's not something that I'm proud of, especially when I compare it to a story that I've poured my heart into and have genuinely put effort into.
It's important to focus on quality over quantity and not force yourself to put out a product that doesn't live up to its potential. There are some tasks were quantity is WAY more valuable, but not with most. Writing should be sincere; something that I have been trying to embed into my life is not to rush things just to get it done. It's important to have a sense of urgency, just not to the point where it diminishes the quality of your work.
