Whenever I tell people I dislike kids, most of them look at me like I have three heads.
"How can you not like kids?! Don't you want to be a mom someday?! That isn't normal!"
It's not like I would shove a child out of the way if I was running out of a burning building. I'm not a monster, regardless of how society portrays women who don't like kids. In my head, it isn't the kid that makes me uneasy. It's everything that comes with a kid.
For me, my dislike of kids stems from the way I grew up. I am the oldest of four, so naturally, I was always stuck babysitting. I felt like from a very young age, I was already basically half of a parent. I would watch my siblings, drive them places, cook for them, clean up after them, all while I watched my friends go out and have fun.
You don't realize how difficult and stressful kids really are until you are part of a family of six. I watched my parents lose their minds trying to raise us, from dragging us halfway across the state for sports competitions to screaming at us to help with chores. It stressed me out and it still does. The palpable tension that you feel when you just walk through the front door of my household is enough to send anyone running.
What 21-year-old doesn't want to only have the responsibility of taking care of themselves? Go out and hang with friends on a Saturday night when they feel like it? Not have anyone else to clean up after or watch? The girls my age who are dying to become mothers when they can barely handle themselves just shocks me sometimes.
It's not like I hate children or even treat them poorly. I work at a children's hospital and go out of my way to make them smile, bring them things they need or help them in any way, even if it is not my job. Right now, I love my independence. I am nowhere near ready to have the responsibility of taking care of a tiny human, nor do I want that right now.
Someday, I would LOVE to have a family. I want to make beautiful little babies that are half me and half the person I love most. I want to build a family with my future husband and leave a legacy behind. I want a tiny little mini-me to take care of, love and cherish. I look forward to the day I can be celebrated on Mother's Day, the day I get to decorate a nursery, the day I become the safe haven when my little girl or boy is scared.
But right now? I am not ready. I value my independence, my freedom and my time to get to know myself. I am not the biggest fan of kids RIGHT NOW and that is OK.
