We knew this day was coming for a while now, but no matter how much time you’re given, I don’t think it’s possible to prepare for it. As I got in my car and drove to see you, I tried to remember the moments we shared together. But not just any moment; I wanted to think of a big one. One where you changed my life, gave me great advice, or spoke words that shaped me into who I am today. I wanted to remember those moments so I can hold onto them forever.
I think back to elementary school. When you’d pull up to the front of the line in your two-colored car to pick me up. We would leave school and go to the gas station to get a Dr. Pepper and a piece of candy. Those are the moments I’ll always hold onto.
As life went on, I did a lousy job at spending time with you. My priorities were all wrong. I’ve tried to make up for the lost time in the last four months, driving back from school most weekends to come spend time with you. I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss anything else. I’ve enjoyed our talks, exercises and jokes. I’ve enjoyed seeing you, on your good and bad days, but I still regret all of those moments I missed out on with you.
It’s harder to think about the future moments you wont be apart of than it is thinking about your death. I’m more hurt to know I wont get to introduce you to the man you’ve always told me I deserve. You won’t get to marry me like you have so many others in our family. I know that even if you won’t be here physically, you’ll be here in spirit on those important moments in life. Yet it’s hard to think that my children won’t get to know the goofy, funny and witty man I came to adore.
I worry that, as time goes on, I’ll forget our relationship and the laughs we shared. I already miss you just thinking about the past.
I like to think as you lay in bed you’re having sweet dreams of what heaven will be like, or maybe your dreaming about all of the wonderful memories you have had here on earth. I like to think you’re not in pain and you feel your guardian angels all around you. We’re all here with you praying for you and trusting in Gods plan but I’m still not ready for goodbye.With Love,
Your Granddaughter.
This blog was written a couple of days before the passing of Jimmy King Sr. Your memory will live on forever in our hearts. I look forward to the day I get to see you again. I love you Papa, I'll be thinking of you.