It’s that time a year again. The sun is shining (unless you live in Missouri and haven’t seen the sun in God knows how long). School is ending. Usually, I am excited for school to be over, to have the summer to myself, but this year it is different. All throughout high school, you always counted down the days to summer, and senior year you are counting down the days till graduation, but as my freshman year of college is coming to an end, I am not ready for it to be over.

My freshman year ending means I am one year closer to going out into the real world. I am one year closer to being a real adult. As someone who still calls my mom to ask if leftovers are good or if I can wash certain colors together, I am not ready to be closer to leaving college. I don’t want to be an adult.

My freshman year ending also means that for the summer, I have to leave behind all these friendships I have built and bonds I have formed. Fortunately for me, my best friend got a job in my hometown for the summer, so I still get to see her, but there are still many other relationships that will be put on hold for the summer, paused in time. I am not ready to leave.

I am not ready to leave behind this cozy little dorm room I have called home since August. I am not ready to pack everything up and have the room feel empty like it did on move in day.

And most honestly, I am not ready to leave behind this new found freedom I have gained. Going home for the summer means following my parents' rules, having a curfew, and not being able to just run around on my own time, doing whatever I want. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents and my home and my own bed, but the best part of college is that you don’t have to report to anyone. I don’t have to tell someone when I am coming home or when I arrive home. I feel as though that statement makes me sound like a wild child, but the best part of college is hanging out with your friends, eating cookie dough and leftover

Mexican food at 1 a.m., falling asleep watching the Lizzie McGuire Movie and then having to walk across campus to go home before class the next morning. I am not ready for that to be over. I am not ready for my freshman year of college to be over.