Dear God,
I am such a planner. There isn't a moment in my life that I do not have planned. I know what I'm doing for the rest of the day, tomorrow, and the next week. I'm 21 years old and I have a five-year plan that I desperately want to work out, and if it doesn't, I have a plan B and plan C.
I've started to realize how unimportant my planning is, though. No matter what I want, what I plan, or what I pray for, I realize that it's Your plan that will be done. So before I continue to write, and before the reader continues to read, I pray that Your will be done, above all else, and that we realize that what we desire is of our hearts which are darkened by sin and that your plan is the one that we should lean on.
Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I really desire to rely on that. So often I pray to you selfishly, with desires of this earth that do not prosper anyone but me, and even when I am prospered, it is only for a short while.
As a college student, I talk to lots of people who are in their degrees or focus areas so that they can get out of college earning a high salary and making a lot of money. I can't even fathom how differently this world would look if we searched for our calling and listened to what You want us to do, realizing that although it might not yield the most glamorous rewards on paper, we would be doing our work for You, and glorifying you in the work that we do.
We focus on what we want in the here and now, what we hope to achieve in the future, and what we can learn from the past. What i plead for is the yearning and searching for You, rather than what I search for in the time you have given me here. I pray that I have tunnel vision and that I am always focused on Your face and nothing else.
And with this plan. I hope that I am able to reach out to others and be an outflow and outpouring of your heart.
I know that Your plan will be hard. I know you don't offer a perfect life lacking pain or loss. I ask for the strength and courage to follow through with this. Even Jesus sat in the Garden of Gethsemane sweating blood and praying for You to take this burden off of His shoulders, in the end realizing it was Your plan for him, and that your will be done. When facing difficult decisions or uncertainty, I hope that I can ask for your guidance, knowing that I will handle tough situations sometimes like Jesus did; questioning, stressing and begging for a way out. I do not ask for perfection, but in these times, please give me Your eyes so that i can see your plan in these moments.
It all stems down to my independence. I was born with that trait. My mother had it and passed it down to me. There are certain times when my independence is admirable and positive, but often it leads me to rely on myself more than I rely on You. That is when it becomes dangerous. That is when I start planning when I lack the ability to trust Your plan. Rid me of that Lord.
I ask all of these things in Your name God, but above all else, let Your will be done.
Amen.
