he·ro /ˈhirō/ noun
1.a person, typically a man, who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.

Hero, funny, can make anyone laugh, selfless, never complains, smart, advice giver, karaoke singer, can make the whole room bright with her smile, star, Justin Bieber lover, dancer, Jesus lover, beautiful, teacher, cousin, niece, sister, daughter, sweet Child of the one true King, best friend, and now Dragonfly.

These are all the things that described my cousin, Haley. I equally love and hate the term cousin. Some people can be close with their cousin but only talk or hang out with them at family events, some people rarely speak to their cousins, and some people their cousin is their absolute best friend.

That's how it was with my cousin Haley.

For as long as I can remember Haley and I were always inseparable. We would do everything together and at family events we were conjoined at the hip. There was a bit of an age difference between us, but that never stopped us. We did absolutely everything together. She gave me the best advice and was my constant and biggest supporter. We talked about our biggest dreams and aspirations. We would have dance parties in her basement with her smoke machines to things like Nsync and the BackStreet Boyz. And when she got the American Idol Karaoke machine for Christmas one year that's all we would do. I remember during family events like Christmas and Thanksgiving our families would have to basically drag us to eat because that's all we would do was sing karaoke with all our other cousins. Haley was my absolute everything.

And than the cancer came...

I was still pretty young when she was diagnosed with Brain Cancer at the age of just about 14 years old, so I didn't really understand it. All I knew was that- my best friend was sick. But I knew and I believed in my best friend and that she would beat through it and we would go back to playing just like we used to.

That ended up being the case for a bit. I don't know if she was good at hiding it back than or if she was just this amazing perfect person that she is- but she NEVER showed that she was in pain. She was still the family loved girl she always was.

I distinctly remember going to this lake as an entire family for our entire family reunion. We had sand castle contests, a lake, a pool, a little river, our entire family, and all the good country southern food you can think of. I remember Haley was beaming. She loved her family. They were her entire world.

We sat on that little log and talked for what seemed like hours about everything under the sun. Haley and I could talk about everything and nothing all at once.

The Cancer seemed "controllable" for a while. I say that very loosely because cancer is no joke and anything and everything can happen within a day. Growing up it seemed as if she would get cancer and than it would go away and than exactly a year later it would come back worse than ever. But every year she would beat it, and the cycle would just start again.

Until I was going into the 8th grade... The Cancer came at us like no other.

But I never doubted my girl. My Hero.

Haley and my aunt and uncle had relocated temporarily to Texas to try and get better cancer treatment. I was equally heart broken and thankful my best friend was moving away, but I knew she needed this treatment so that she could survive.

The summer before I entered the 8th grade I boarded my first ever flight to visit Haley in Texas. And BOY was I excited to see my girl again!! It was just like old times- like nothing had ever changed, and that no time had gone by. That week was spent with lots of laughs, The Golden Girls, dancing and singing along to Big Time Rush and Justin Bieber, and eating all of my uncles personal pizzas!

It was that trip that I had realized just how badly sick my best friend was though...
I remember close the night before I left Haley was running a bad fever and the next morning we had to rush her to the hospital. Although it was something as treatable as a high fever, it was in this moment when I was afraid I was going to lose my best friend.

Something as simple as a fever can do this to someone when they are so sick.

They were able to stabilize her and she was able to go home and I went off to the airport to go home.

I thought that was going to be the worst of it, but it wasn't.

Not at all.

Cancer changes you as a person. Particularly Brain Cancer because it takes a hold of your brain.

When I was in the 9th grade things changed drastically for the worst.

I don't remember when exactly it was- but I'll never forget the night that my dad me that Haley probably would not live out the rest of the 2010 year.

I was devastated. And to be completely honest- I was in denial I didn't want to believe that my best friend was dying. That I would wake up one day to the news I never wanted to hear.

So I kept hope- and I kept fighting for her and with her.

That night my dad and I brought over pizza hut to them.

It's a night I'll never forget and honestly one of my favorites with her.

We ate pizza together and all I could do was cry- because it's not exactly the news I wanted from my best friend. And you know what she did? She turned on music and started dancing and kept doing so until I smiled and laughed, which I did. A girl who just found out she was dying and instead of sulking about it- she gets up and dances!!! I will never forget that night, after I took a few videos of her dancing and being silly and having fun, I stood up and danced with her.

I didn't know it than but this was our very last dance party- she got too sick not long after this.

Thanksgiving came around, it was her favorite holiday besides Christmas of course because she loved her family with her whole heart. Man am I so incredibly thankful for that Thanksgiving. It was one of the best, but it was also her last. But it was the most beautiful one of all. It was so family filled and we were all so incredibly close. No one thought "oh this is going to be the last", everyone just spread immense love and thankfulness that we were all together.

Christmas had come and gone and we were all expecting the end to be near, and it never came and we were all so incredibly thankful.

On January 9th, 2011 the Mayor of McDonough named the day "Haley Day" and boy was it a day to celebrate!! We had dedicated our churches childrens playground to her and called it "Haley's Place" in honor of all the work she has done for the children of our church.

Next thing you know April of 2011 is here and my sister, Haley, and I went out on a little girls night out to see the new movie Soul Surfer. It was such an incredible blessing to watch a movie about a young girls struggle while sitting next to my young Hero. It was so humbling but also very bitter sweet. We all cried through out the entire movie. That movie will forever make me think of Haley.

Summer came around- and there was a bunch of silence.

We had vacation bible school at our church and she still came and she taught and she loved on her blessings- her babies. Those children of the church were her absolute pride and joy and she loved on every single one of them and gave them all the love she could.

This was the last picture I would ever take with my partner in crime at Vacation Bible School. I am so thankful that someone made us take this picture. Neither of us wanted our picture taken- but now I am SO thankful for it. It's not my favorite but it is one that I cherish.

The quiet before the storm.

In July of 2011 I was on vacation with my family when we got told it was getting bad.
When we got home we went and visited and her words were slurring together and it was hard to understand her. She would get frustrated and upset because no one could understand her.

At this point I still had hope- I was in complete denial and I was angry with God that he would let this happen to my best friend.

August came around and I started my Sophomore year. It kept me distracted.

On August 19th Haley became unresponsive. She would obsessionally lift her arm or squeeze your hand. I spent every minute I could by her side and holding her hand.I even made her a georgia bulldog red and black friendship bracelet and tied it on her wrist.

It was at this point we all knew it was coming- even me.
My prayers changed this weekend.
I went from asking Heavenly Father to heal Haley to do what was in his will to be done, whether it be to heal her or take her home with him.

That very Sunday my youth group showed the movie Soul Surfer and I went because I knew Haley would want me to go to watch her movie- I didn't make it through the end with out running out. I was crying too hard and needed to get out of there.

On Monday, August 22nd, 2011, after a year 10 year battle with brain cancer, Haley took her last breaths and went to be with Jesus, who she loved the most.

Haley NEVER complained about anything. She took this on and was grateful for every bit of life she lived and never took any bit of it for granted. I never heard her complain and she never showed it. She was my true hero. She would worry about others before she worried about herself. She was completely selfless and I admire to be half the person she became.

She may have lost the battle but she won the war.

It was the hardest day of my entire life, I remember sitting in my dads office at school and just cry in his arms.

It never got easier and it still isn't easier 5 years later.

She never got to see my go off to prom, she never got to see me graduate, or help me move in to my first college dorm.

She never got to see me off as I achieved my dream of working at Disney World.

She won't get to be my maid of honor, and I wouldn't get to be hers.

She will never get to be there for my future children.

All these killed me and I was in tears during all these events for these are all things we talked about doing together before.

Although she wasn't there for any of these events- somebody else was.

A little Green DragonFly.

In Haley's program for her funeral this parable was written in it.

Ever since her funeral green dragonflies have followed me everywhere- and especially on my hard days and days that I would want her there.

Both times I went to prom, my graduation day, the day I moved to college and the day I moved to Orlando to pursue my dreams, dragon flies have shown up. Including one even landing on my foot, each time I see a specifically green dragonfly I ca't help but cry and be thankful for signs from Heaven.

She was and still is my greatest supporter and still continues to be apart of my life even after she has passed on. That's the greatest gift I could ever ask for from her.

I take great comfort knowing that I will see her again and that this life isn't all that our Father has to offer for us.

I take great comfort in knowing that she is no longer suffering and that she with whom she loved the most, Jesus Christ. And that she is taking care of all the angel babies. I know full well that is her calling up there.

Although I do wish she was still here with me I am SO incredibly thankful for all the memories we had and all the years we did get. I will always hold them close to my heart.

Losing someone you love so dear is hard and it feels like your breath has been taken away- like you've been punched in the gut. But as time passes it gets easier to breathe.

It's been 5 years and sometimes I still have to take time to remember to breathe and remember the good time with that good old smoke machine and the American Idol Karaoke machine.

In Memory of Haley
Fly high, my sweet angel.

"You are a star among all other stars. But you my love, are the brightest of them all."
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
~Philippians 4:13