Hey You,
How are you? Like how are you REALLY? Because I know that already today, you've thought about what you were going to do with your life five times if going out tonight was the best option for the goals you wish to accomplish tomorrow and have had anxiety over which path is the right one to take.
You strive to always keep it composed, to never show how anxious you really care about your future, and to hide how controlling you are about wanting to have every single little detail of your life planned out. You have a planner always at the ready, with a pen tucked into the bindings, you are one of the only people who actually use the remind app on your phone and you have about fourteen tabs open in Safari about various careers you might be interested in. I know you because I was you, and it's time you let go.
I know it might seem impossible, but believe it or not, we're actually not supposed to have our life all planned out at this time in our lives, or honestly ever. If you continue to worry about your future so much, how are you possibly able to completely enjoy the present? These years are going to fly by even faster if you don't sit back and take in what's happening right in front of you every once in a while.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not telling you to give up your control-freak, plan-for-the-future-no-matter-what tendencies completely, because it's in your blood and I honestly don't think it's possible to get rid of all of them. But I urge you to let life take its course sometimes. When you go out, don't try and plan what the entire night is going to look like and where you're going to go, because then you'll miss the thrill of spontaneity. Who knows where life will take you, who you'll meet and what you'll do. You won't ever be able to truly experience life until you just LIVE it, without constant expectations and concerns about what the day will bring.
The things that happen to us in life shape us into who we become and what we hold dear to us. If you are really so concerned with what you're going to do with life and where you're going to end up, then you need to let things go sometimes. If you continue to try and control every aspect of your existence, you will never grow or go out of your comfort zone, and redefine who you are.
I know you love control because you're scared, you are scared of the unexpected, the uncontrollable, and the inevitable, and you believe that if you can hold everything in your control you will never be hurt and never have to experience pain. But that's impossible. If there was a way to control those things, trust me, everyone would.
Life happens no matter what you try and control, and if you continue to hold on so tight to what you WANT your life to look like, you will never experience the journey of getting there. You need to learn how to deal with pain and if you continue you to hide from the possibility of getting hurt, you will never take any risks that are worthwhile!
Yes, risks are scary, but they also have the biggest payoff in the end and your controlling self is holding you back from all that could be. It is better to have and experience hurt than to have not at all and live a dull life.
Experiences shape all of us, going outside of what we are comfortable with is how we learn about our true character and who we can become. Who knows, maybe one day, in an act of spontaneity, you'll do something crazy, and while you fight the desire to back away, you'll meet someone who changes your life or find out what you want to do with your life.
But one thing is for sure, you're not going to find yourself online looking things up, or in your planner writing things down; you need to experience and accept life for the crazy, haphazard chaos it is! Then, you will have control by relinquishing the control you hold so tightly to.
Best,
Someone who's been You
