When situations arise that we don’t know how to deal with, or we simply have no explanation for things that happen, we are quick to reassure ourselves and others that everything happens for a reason. When things do not go according to our plan, it’s easy to seek comfort in knowing that it was “supposed to happen." But sometimes false comfort can be more destructive than accepting the reality of what we’ve been dealt.

I believe there is a distinct difference in God having a plan (which He does) and the idea that every aspect of our lives is micromanaged.

To say that everything happens for a reason is putting all circumstances into the same category of reasoning, including the bad things. While I firmly believe that good can come out of any situation, I do not believe the purpose of the bad is in fulfillment of that good.

When someone is faced with adversity, devastation or tragedy, we often feed them the line of “everything happens for a reason” because we ourselves do not have an answer. The only assurance we know to give is that there must be a purpose higher than that of our own understanding. While this is true, that does not mean horrible things happen just so that some good can come from it.

In countless instances, people will say there is a reason behind their hardships because they pushed them to be better people; to be more appreciative, to have more compassion and to love more. My question to that would be, why not strive to be your best self even when things are good? While trials and tribulation allow us to more clearly see how we should be living, we should consider these things before we begin speaking in past tense; “I should have been more...I should have said...I should have done…” In other words, do not allow the effects of the negative outcomes in your life to be the only source of positive change.

Referring back to God having a plan, He ultimately does. While our pain is not necessary to this plan, it is a part of it. Bad things are going to happen; not because they have to, but because they do. While we are not expected to understand, we are obligated to accept. Not everything happens for a reason, but that does not mean we can’t find find peace in everything that happens.