I am the person who craves everyone’s approval. If I find out that someone has said anything bad about me or doesn’t like me, I will cry for a week. A month ago my roommate told me that I was being a little loud when I came into the room at night, and I didn’t stop thinking about it for a week. While this was not a ridiculous request and we are best friends, I still get upset at the tiniest critique.

In high school, I got along with most of my peers. Of course, I faced some issues with certain people, but overall I didn’t get involved in drama. I am not suggesting that this is because I am a perfect human and everyone loved me. I am fully aware that there were probably numerous people who didn’t like me for a variety of reasons in the same way that I didn’t like some people for a variety of reasons. However, when it comes to involving myself in conflicts, I remind myself that ignorance is bliss. As long as I don’t know who doesn’t like me and for what reasons, I am unaffected.

When I got to college, I had a reality check. As most people tend to do in their first few months of college, my first group of friends were the girls on my floor. Naturally, when people are randomly placed near each other, not everyone is going to like everyone. While I got along well with most of the people on my floor, one girl clearly did not like me at all. She rolled her eyes at me, ignored me, and spoke about me behind my back constantly. In all fairness, she later claimed that I was just as rude to her, and although naturally I thought I was nothing but nice to her, maybe I wasn’t. Perhaps both of our perceptions were distorted. I don’t think that either of us were entirely kind to each other, but rather our personalities were completely different and we were not meant to be friends.

Knowing that this one girl disliked me upset me more than anything else that happened to me during my first semester at college. I was plagued by the thought of not knowing why she hated me so much. It led me to think that I had a serious personality flaw that everyone else saw except me. I told everyone from home about my issue and most people didn’t understand. Why would it be a big deal if one person doesn’t like you?

Dealing with this prevented me from feeling like I had a solid group of friends at college. It didn’t feel right to call these girls my closest friends when a portion of that group didn’t like me. I am so thankful for my current roommate who at the time did not live on my floor. Without her, I would have felt completely alone. I tried everything to make this girl like me, and it became exhausting. Eventually, I realized that I was trying way too hard to impress a girl that I didn’t even like myself. Why did it matter if she liked my personality when I hated hers? I am Type A, emotional, dramatic, and extremely energetic. She is quiet, reserved, laid back, and sarcastic. When it finally occurred to me that I didn’t want to be her friend either, I stopped trying to change my personality and stopped trying to impress her.

I am extremely high maintenance person and I fully understand that many people don’t want a friend like that. While I think she acted immaturely, I don’t hate her or think she is a horrible person for disliking me. Certain personalities just do not match with others. We are opposites in every way and I was so preoccupied with trying to make her like me, I didn’t even stop to think that I didn’t really like her.

In an ideal world, everyone likes everyone—but unfortunately, that’s not how the world works. Eventually, our group’s issues came to a head in an extremely dramatic fight filled with insults, passive aggressive texts, and insensitive comments. I cried for days after hearing every nasty thing that she thought about me, but eventually I moved on. Being “friends” with this girl made me miserable. Once I accepted her issues with me and moved on, I found my real friends.

I understand that most people will read this and think that I am the most dramatic person in the world for letting one girl ruin my first semester of college. I accept that. Being honest, I probably am one of the most dramatic people in the world. However, I hope some people are able to read this and get comfort from knowing that they are not the only ones who feel a compulsive need to be liked. You are not self-centered for wanting everyone to like you. But the moment you feel like you need to change your personality for another person is the moment you should step back and realize that no person is worth that much.