A year ago I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life and who I wanted to continue to fight for and who I wanted to cut out of my life. Decisions aren’t easy.
I choose to stay in a relationship that wasn’t always the best, but it was my comfort zone and I had a tunnel vision for comfort. I cut out friends and family to keep my significant other happy. I choose to stop doing the things that made me happy to make someone else happy.
I’ve always had that problem, choosing to put everyone else before myself. Everyone’s happiness came before my own and it turned me into a depression, deprived, unhappy individual.
Finally, 6 months later, I left. And when I left, I left hard.
I moved to a different state, started two jobs, and buried myself in my bedroom without doing anything between jobs except visiting with family.
I was depressed. I told myself I had to find happiness, but I wasn’t allowing just anyone into my life. Yet, I did just that.
The first guy to grab my attention turned out to be a complete pig. He lied, he made excuses, and then he left with a handful of broken promises. I decided to fight because he made me happy and my happiness was the happiness that meant the most. But he wouldn’t allow me to fight anymore.
I was so weak at the time. Mentally weak. And I let the wrong person in. What you are is going what you attract. That why it’s SO important to take care of your attitude, beliefs, positivity and mental health. Misery loves company, and I and he were a match made in hell.
This is why, if you are feeling weak right now, you are not at your best and you could well attract the WRONG people into your life.
Happiness isn’t what everyone makes it out to be. Happiness is fighting, loving, caring, and forgiving. I’ve done that too much here lately so I stopped fighting.
As soon as I started to let go I allowed someone else in. Someone trustworthy, someone who admires me, someone who accepts me for me. All my flaws and imperfections, it’s kinda like he doesn’t notice. He hugs me when I’m sad, he asks how my days going, he calls me randomly, he appreciates me. That’s what I needed. Happiness within myself but also another person.
I now have someone around who lifts me up when I’m down and makes sure I smile 98% of my day. Someone who allowed me into his scrambled life, and we decided to take it one day at a time to build trust with each other.
That’s why it is so important to decide who is worth fighting for and who isn’t. Because not everyone on this earth was meant to be apart of your life.
So please, if you are at a point in your life where you don’t know if you’re truly happy I want you to take extra care of yourself and be careful about who you let into your life, or who you are allowing to be in your life. If they don’t raise you up, now, or at any other time, then gather your strength and walk away.
