Consider the image of the garlic head and the tangerine slice at the top of this page. While the tangerine slice fits perfectly into the crevice left in the garlic head by the missing clove, very few would say that this is where the tangerine slice belongs. Just because the slice fills the vacancy does not mean the slice should remain there. The slice is seemingly one with its surroundings, just as the head seems to be completed; however, this is not where both the slice and the head would be best suited and appreciated.

This example serves as a powerful metaphor for our lives. Some of us are tangerine slices and do not realize it until we look more closely at our own circumstances. It is easy to become complacent with our current situations, even if they do not suit us. Perhaps a current friendship or romantic relationship is holding you back from pursuing what you desire. Perhaps your hometown does not make you feel secure and welcomed. Perhaps your college or university is not doing its job in creating a positive community in which you can thrive. Despite all of this, we are inclined to stay where we fit in and do not seek out where we belong, even if we are not comfortable. It is simply easier to assimilate rather than to seek out where we are truly content.

Alternatively, some of us are the head of garlic. We are missing something from ourselves and are looking for a way to fill the vacancy. Just as the slice of tangerine is missing from its whole, the head of garlic sought its clove. The head of garlic certainly isn’t meant to be completed by the slice of tangerine, and is allowing this unnatural fit for reasons unbeneficial to itself. These reasons could be the maintaining of a friendship or relationship out of sympathy for the other person, remaining in your hometown because it is where you have always called home, even if it never truly felt that way, or continuing to attend your college or university even if you never desired to do so. Despite the fact that some things are not best for us, we look for the most convenient way to fill our voids. Both the tangerine slice and the head of garlic are continuing their current patterns for the wrong reasons, just as we do.

Consider a current situation of yours that stimulates your skepticism. Take a closer look at it, and take moment to think about what you are seeing. Now, ask yourself where you came from in order to get where you currently are, the reason as to why you are there right now, as well as how long you plan to stay there. Depending on your answers to these questions, you may find yourself to be either the slice of tangerine or the head of garlic. Whichever you discover yourself to be, keep in mind that you must do what will be of the most benefit to yourself. By continuing our current patterns, or “fitting in,” we are often inhibiting ourselves from discovering where or with whom we “belong.” We must break free of these patterns and seek out what will help us to become whole.