Have you ever hit a rut in your relationship with God? Do you ever feel like you're going no where fast?
I'm here just few days after Christmas, soaking up all of my news gifts; excited to be spending time with my family and eating real food. As I was taking it all in, I realized that I still felt empty. In front of me, I have everything I could possibly want-- a ton of unexpected, but welcomed gifts. Still, I am not fulfilled. It finally hit me, that what I was missing, the reason I wasn't fulfilled, is God.
I mean, I have Him in that I know who He is and that He's my Lord and Savior, but I don't have Him in that, I've strayed away so we're not close anymore.
I've seen that my relationship with God isn't where it used to be or where I'd like for it to be, but I haven't necessarily done much to change my situation. It's odd for me because normally when I noticed that I've veered off, I try immediately to get myself back on track.
As bad as it sounds and as much as it hurts my pride to say this, I haven't cared either. To be honest, it's worried me a tad bit. I can't wrap my head around why I no longer enjoy spending time with Him. Not only that, I find it almost excruciatingly difficult to have the patience to even read more than a couple of verses in my Bible.
I'm ashamed. Mostly because, God has given everything to me. He still takes care of me and for what? For me to thank Him in the moment and keep going with my life? I suppose my main issue is that this is all on me. I know better yet, I'm not doing better. I know that I should spend time with God because just like any other relationship it takes work and communication, but I continue finding myself in this place where I don't want to try.
I'm aware that studies show that students typically drop their faith when they get to college and I never wanted to be in that number but that's where it feels like I am. I still totally believe in God but my relationship with Him has not been my priority.
I wanted this to be an encouraging note to all those who are in my boat but I don't quite know what to tell you.
I will say that abolutely, positively God still loves us unconditionally. I would say to re-assess your reasons, whatever they may be for trailing off and to pick back up where you left off. God is a jealous God and He longs to spend time with us, but He is also a gentleman and He will not force Himself on you. He will meet you where you are so just talk to Him.
I am confident in His love for me that He will never leave or forsake me no matter how many times I fall away from Him. I believe He will welcome us back to Him with open arms and a gracious Spirit.