This past week, an Odyssey creator wrote a piece entitled "I Always Date To Marry And There Is Nothing Wrong With That" and she's right, there is nothing wrong with that! I have the utmost respect for this girl for standing up for the respect she deserves and for not settling for men who she does not see as compatible life partners. I commend her for resisting the hook-up culture and for sticking to a value system that she has established for herself.
However, I'm in the complete opposite boat right now, one in which marriage is not anywhere on my radar and I'm dating for the present moment, not for some potential future.
In our society, dating "just for fun" has become much more socially acceptable. However, I still receive a number of comments, especially from older generations, anytime I even go past the "talking to" phase with a new guy: "Can you see yourself being happy with him for the rest of your life?" "How would you feel if your kids turned out just like him?" "If you're having problems now, just imagine what they'll be like 10 years down the line."
What's so wrong with the answer to those questions being "no"? So what if I can't see myself walking down an aisle wearing a white dress or raising children with this man? So what if we decide that the conflicts are too much to handle in a long-term relationship? Does that disqualify all of the good things we're experiencing in the here and now?
I am a strong, independent, passionate woman whose education and career are at the forefront of my life right now and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
I'm not looking for "Mr. Right" and honestly I'd be fine if no "Mr. Right" ever stumbles into my life. I am working on my goals to get to a point where I can be fulfilled without needing to have someone else in my life along for the ride.
I'm not looking for my "better half" because I'm not a half. I am a whole, complete, individual person and I'll surround myself with people who complement my personality but I don't need someone else to make myself "whole".
I have a long list of things I want to accomplish in the near future and "marriage" isn't anywhere on it. I'm open to the possibility of that changing but, realistically, I don't see that happening anytime in the near future.
In the meantime, I'm going to have fun. I'm going to enjoy romantic flings while they last and determine what I'm looking for in a relationship. I'm going to find myself and live my life to the fullest with absolutely no regrets.
I'm happy being the 2 a.m. girl, being one of the guys, or falling anywhere in between. My self-worth is not determined by whether or not I'm wearing a ring on my finger and it never will be.
