shy perspective rude | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post

I'm Not Being Rude I Just Don't Know What To Say: A shy Person's perspective

Sometimes I just can't seem to find the words, is that not okay?

10
Kev Costello
unsplash.com

Socialization is both like playing a game of chess and russian roulette. You think carefully, making only calculated moves. You have rehearsed your lines a few times already and you are sure they're perfect. Conscious of every minor change in facial expression and checking for cues hidden in the other person's body language you try to think of responses that are just right. But in just one moment, with one wrong word, or faulty sentence, the trigger can be pulled and the bullet is released. Now this certainly isn't the case for everyone. For many people socialization is a walk in the park. Talking comes naturally and conversing with other human beings, strangers and friends, is a simple task for them. Lucky them.

Whenever I speak with other people, no matter how short the exchange of words is, I make sure to smile and appear happy. I have an odd fear of scaring the person off and seeming unfriendly. While trying to remain conscious of how pleasant I look, the next step is to be responsive and to convey interest. The problem starts as soon as the other person finishes speaking. "What do I say? Are they done or are they about to expound on what they just said? Am I talking too much? Am I not talking enough? Should I reciprocate the question they just asked me?" and so many other questions surface in my head over the span of say 5 seconds. So with all this going on accompanied by the subtle yet constant feeling of nervousness, I try desperately to think of more things to say, but often to no avail as nothing seems interesting, important, or just worth mentioning. It's not that I don't want to talk, it's just that smiling and nodding are all I can manage at times. If only other people could see that.The same goes for starting conversations in the first place. The only reason I haven't spoken up on my own is because of a fear of coming across as annoying or bothersome to others. Plus, it will take me who knows how long to finally decide on the perfect line to kick off the conversation. And even once I do finally rehearse those lines over to myself I still have to work up the courage to actually execute the action. Trust me, it can be a process at times.

All of this changes though when talking to friends or very familiar faces. When I'm around people I'm close to, talking is as easy as reciting the alphabet. Plenty of ideas, topics, interests and comments come to mind then, so why can't they when I'm trying to communicate with someone new? Those who suffer from chronic shyness (no that is not a real disease) also struggle with letting their personality shine through to others. Because we have to feel comfortable with a person first people usually lose interest in you before they even get to know you. It takes time to get to truly know the shy. Trust me, that quiet boy who never says more than three words at a time has a wide range of interests and tons of interesting stories to share.If you took the time to speak to him and let him open up to you, you'd be surprised to find that he is not as rude or boring as you originally assumed.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Relationships

10 Facts All People In A Large Family Can Confirm During The Holiday Season

The holiday season can be the best and most stressful time of the year, especially when more people are involved.

942
kids jumping

The holidays are full of lights, sweets, sweaters, and your favorite movies. There's nothing quite like this period from the beginning of December through January. Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Years. The fun of it all.

I don't know about you but with my large Italian family something is always going on during this season. It can be the most wonderful time of the year while also being the most hectic. These are a few things you know if your family is anything like mine during this time.

Keep Reading...Show less
10 things that happen the second Thanksgiving is over
reference.com

To those who celebrate, you just spent an entire day cooking an elaborate meal with all of your favorite foods. You probably ate your body weight in pumpkin pie and mashed potatoes. What happens now? Oh yea, Christmas. It’s time to take out all of the decorations and Christmas themed things that have been sitting in the attic since last year; it’s time to make a reappearance. So, here are 10 things that happen the second Thanksgiving is over.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

18 Things I Want To Do Now That I'm 18

I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

4285
Happy Birthday Cake

For the entirety of my high school career, I was always seen as the goody-two-shoes. I never got in trouble with a teacher, I kept stellar grades, and when I wasn't doing extracurricular activities, I was at home studying. Even when I did go out, it was usually with a bunch of fellow band geeks. The night would end before 11:00 PM and the only controversial activity would be a fight based on who unfairly won a round of Apples-to-Apples when someone else clearly had a better card (I promise I'm not still holding a grudge).

Now that I'm officially an adult, I want to pursue some new things. I want to experience life in a way that I never allowed myself to do prior to entering college. These are the years that I'm supposed to embark on a journey of self-discovery, so what better way to do that than to create a bucket list?

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics

The holiday classics that shaped my life

2635
10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics
Flickr

The holiday season is full of stress, debt, and forced conversation. While we rush through the month of December, it's important to take a step back and enjoy the moments before they're gone. Most families love to watch Christmas movies, but these beloved films provide more than entertainment. Here are 10 life lessons that I've learned from the holiday classics we watch every year.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

202010
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments