Have you ever been in a situation where you just feel down? Are you in physical/emotional/mental pain?Like you have the world on your shoulders? Like no one can give you any answers? You are confused. You feel hopeless. You are searching for hope in all the wrong places.

This is a letter to myself, and to all those out there just in pain. Whether the pain is physically, emotionally, or mentally, I'll tell you I have felt and am feeling that RIGHT NOW!

I know how it feels to be on your knees begging God, "Why me? Do you know what you are doing?" I know how it feels to look at your mother and say, "Why does God hate me?" I know that feeling when you are searching for a friend and no one is there to give you that smile and hug and say, "It’s okay!" I have been there when you are thinking, "I am going through some tough and deep waters and where is your God to save me?" I am there, right now, I repeat, RIGHT NOW!

I am going to be completely and brutally honest and transparent when I say to you, I am struggling, but I am not going to tell you that the enemy is going to win. I am that girl who struggles with being sick all the time. That's just how God uses me to be a light to others in the midst of my pain.He keeps me strong.

Psalm 73:26 says this, "my heart and flesh may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." This is my life verse, my heart and flesh is weak but my God; he is stronger and he is my best friend, comforter, defender, ultimate healer, and my savior and he knows what he is doing.He chose me, and he chose you to be that strong and beautiful light to a world that is so broken. In the middle of your pain, you may be someone's inspiration!

Now, "Why me? Do you know what you are doing?" He does. "Why does God hate me?" He doesn't. Where is that friend, that person to give you that smile and hug and say "It's okay!" That's Jesus. "I am going through some tough and deep waters and where is your God to save me?" He is there and I am a living testament of "Why a God that loved me so much would put me through this." He is there.I'll just say this; it only gets harder with Jesus.

I was talking to a friend and we were talking about how Jesus was so different and hard to understand. That was why in John 6 a lot of his disciples and followers left him. I can relate. When I was sick as a child and I was no longer simple, similar, and easy to understand anymore, all my friends left me. Yet just as Peter says when Jesus asks "are you going to leave me too?" Peter responds, "Where will we go who will we turn to?"The right people will stay and intervene in your life. God is using you and your story to move mountains. My story has helped me be a light to so many, and by that I am a blessing and am blessed. That's why you are hurting. That is why you are going through this pain. God sees you as a bright and beautiful sun and he is going to make you shine before the world.