Everyone in some way has experienced one of those stomach-wrenching feelings that you wish so desperately would go away. You feel stuck, with nowhere to run or turn to, and no matter how many times you hear someone say, "Don't worry, everything will be OK," you always have that moment of "what if". What if everything won't to be OK? What if I'm not going to be OK? What if I'll never be ... OK? These negative thoughts flood through your mind and bring tears to your eyes as you feel like you will never be who you once were. Life may seem unfair at the moment, and yes, things do get better, but in the meantime just remember, it's OK to not be OK.
It's OK to take time to heal
You're not supposed to handle every situation with grace and courage, especially when you're growing up. Sometimes certain situations in life can get so out of our control, that they shove you so far down that it feels almost impossible to stand back up. You don't always need to stand back up right away though. Yes, eventually that will be the ultimate goal, to push through the hard times and get back on track to the future, but sometimes we need to stop fighting and accept that were not OK.
I'm not saying you can become an emotional wreck for months on end because no one wants that. It's OK, though, to take time to heal, especially at your own pace. Don't let others push your healing process further than you're ready. If you want to watch The Notebook and eat chocolate ice cream out of the tub while sobbing your heart out, do it. If you want to read a good book with some hot tea until you fall asleep, go for it. If you want to have a girls night with your friends and trash talk every single guy you've ever been with, no one's stopping you. If that's the way you heal, then don't let anyone get in the way of you becoming happy. Just remember that everyone heals differently, and everyone does it on their own time.
Don't be the time bomb
I used to believe that crying made you look weak and vulnerable, but we all need a good cry every once in a while. It helps release your emotions instead of holding them in, and holding them in can make things so much worse. Holding in your emotions only makes you more susceptible to becoming a ticking time bomb that could explode at any second. I've been this time bomb, and I almost lost people that I cared deeply about because every single emotion I was feeling all came out at once.
The time bomb is the worst thing you can be during an emotional time. Crying doesn't make you weak, it makes you stronger because you are allowing those emotions to come to the surface. You're allowing yourself to feel the pain you've been wanting to avoid. The tears will come to a stop though, and one day you won't find yourself crying, or even thinking about the situation anymore.
Change your life for the better
Some people think that when they've experienced pain and sadness, doing indefinably stupid things is the cure to get rid of these unwanted emotions. For some people it might not be the wrong answer, but it's not the best way to handle things either.
I was one of those girls that went out and partied too much after something life-changing happened. I thought I was going to get over it faster by pushing myself to go out, meet new people, and hopefully drown out my emotions with an entire bottle of who knows what. It may have made me feel good for a while, but at some point the emotions would come back and the process would start over again.
I soon realized that drinking so I couldn't remember wasn't the answer, and normally won't be the answer for anyone. If you want to change yourself or your lifestyle, do it in a way that will only benefit you. Read more books that interest you. Exercise more than you used to. Put makeup on and dress up, not because you want to impress anyone, but because you want to feel both pretty on the inside and on the outside. Be kind and courteous to everyone, and remember that life only puts these situations in front of us so we can become better and stronger individuals. The road might be tough right now, but the future ahead of you is so bright.
