For some, the best way to validate their accomplishment graduating college is walking across the stage and shaking hands with their President. It feels good to have your family watching as you get your physical diploma and get the photo-op in your cap and gown. If that's what you want, I think it's great. I'm so happy for my friends that graduated and were excited to attend their graduation ceremonies.
For me, that's not what I want. It's entirely my decision not to participate at my graduation ceremony, and that's okay too. I will never regret my decision—in fact, I think I will always be glad.
First, it's important to note that I am horrible in crowds. I hate people touching me, even slightly. Going to just the grocery store can be a nightmare that induces stress and panic. With all that in mind, attending a graduation with thousands of students and parents sounds like more of a torturous event resulting in heart palpitations and light-headedness. The stress of finding my parents in the crowds even after the ceremony is over just for some pictures in my cap and gown sounds like my own personal Hell.
Going to one of the largest universities in the nation also means that out of all of the students I will be graduating with, I likely won't know a single person. While being proud of your own accomplishments is enough, wouldn't it be even more worth it to share that achievement with your close peers? Most of my friends graduated in May, and if I won't know anyone at my ceremony, what's the point? I had wonderful professors throughout my education, but because of the size of my college, I never have and never will meet my college's President. He doesn't know my name or face, nor the thousands of other students attending. The impersonal nature of this doesn't make me feel "good" or accomplished. It reminds me of how little and unimportant I am, which is not what you should be feeling when you accomplish such an important task!
I'd also like to add that I come from a separated family. My parents and step-parents don't go out of their ways to conversate or see each other (like, at all). Graduation is supposed to celebrate MY accomplishment, not worry about meeting my two sets of parents in different locations to get pictures or congratulatory hugs. My only sibling will also be away on tour, so I'm currently feeling more alone celebrating my achievement rather than with the ones I love.
Is it really worth it to wake up early on a Saturday morning, rent a cap and gown for too much money, sit in a stadium and listen to speeches from people you've never met before, watch students you don't know you accept their diplomas (AND it's not even your real diploma!), then rush and search to find your family in a mass of a thousand other people doing the same?
I'm still making an effort to do the traditional things that parents want to see. If you're like me and think it might be better to skip the ceremony, here's my advice: buy a cap for five dollars on Amazon, have a friend take pictures of you wearing it on campus, and print out the photos at a Walgreens to give to your parents in a nice frame. You can still throw a party if that's what you want or have a nice dinner. I want to feel good about my accomplishments, not belittled or stressed out.
