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To The Boy Who Thought I Was Asleep

I was not...

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To The Boy Who Thought I Was Asleep

Warning: This article contains a story about sexual assault and is based on a true experience.

"You should invite him." - that is what my mind was saying. I should have gotten a bad vibe, I should I have changed my mind, I should not have picked him up... but I did not get a bad vibe, nor did I change my mind.

I was having another one of my usual kickbacks during the summer, nothing out of the ordinary. I was chilling with my girls and that was more than enough to satisfy me for the evening. I noticed my best friend was on the phone and I wanted to know who it was with. Like, hello who are you speaking to this late at night? She proceeded to tell me, "It is a guy I am talking to." Okay sis, go you! I said, "You should invite him over!"

Her boo was not going to show up until later with a plus one. Okay, I am very social - I can speak to anyone! I was more than okay with this plus one attending.

The guys showed up around 1 a.m. and could not get into the apartment, so I went out to pick them up. I thought the guys were cool, I mean they seemed like the typical duo. We get to the apartment and my friend gets cozy with her boo while I cleaned up the mess. There were liquor and beer bottles all over the counters and also in my system. I was drinking my usual amount that night and I needed food to sober up. I was not going to drive while under the influence, so I asked this guy to drive me to Waffle House. He told me about the girl he was talking to, helped me clean up the mess, and helped me function throughout the night. He appeared to be the ideal friend, I was appreciative.

I managed to make it back to the apartment and eat my waffle - I was thriving that night. I finally went to sleep around 3 a.m., I was exhausted and had enough liquor in my system to really help me drift off. I never drink to black out/ pass out, I want to be able to recall everything, but maybe he thought I drank enough to put an elephant down.

I was asleep until I felt a draft like someone lifted up the covers and just let a gush of wind underneath. I did not think anything about it until I felt a hand. I felt a big, sweaty, dirty hand run up my thigh. I was confused, scared, and just laid there lifeless. "Was this really about to happen to me? Am I going to get raped?" He kept moving his hand up and he did not stop. I felt a slight squeeze on my butt, and then a movement in between my legs as if he was attempting to finger me. I was terrified and instantly wrapped myself up tightly in the sheets. He quickly laid back down on the floor and I thought it was over — until he started touching me on top of the covers, just rubbing up against my body. He started whispering, "Brooke come down here with me" and was kissing my neck.

An alarm went off, and it was time for this boy to go back home. I was in bed, lifeless. What just happened to me? This could have been worse if I did not have friends with me. I was so thankful when the creep left. I did not drive him to his car and I did not care if he made it back alive to his car.

I have opened up to many people about my experience and some say, "You asked for it, you were drinking around a stranger." "You barely had any clothes on — you asked for it." But, none of that is true. I did not ask for this perv to touch me and my clothes had nothing to do with it.

To the boy who thought I was asleep, you did not break me, you did not get what you wanted, and you mean nothing to me.

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